Oh. Gosh. Kathi. I did not inform her of the Amber Pants secret of switching to beer after 11 pm or switching to cranberry and ginger ale after midnight. Whoop. So I gots no Kathi all day (she basically slept) but that’s fine! I needed quiet time. I read a, ehem, graphic novel and wrote stuff while sitting outside on the patio ‘cause it was so warm! Yea, I’m trying to rub it in at this point… Awesome.
2:30 pm:
In the afternoon I decided I needed to walk the Shippensburg streets to the High School and back. Oh! Not like “walk the streets, walk the streets”, but just walk. Come on now! My mom is reading this! Sheesh!!!! I change out of my skirt into some jeans and boots, just to try and make the walk a wee bit more enjoyable. Hotter, but more enjoyable somehow. It didn’t work. Nope. After walking maybe 2 miles (there and back) there was this count…yea, I counted:
12 honks
5 yells/hollahs
And I lost track of the slamming on breaks and turning heads…
Why? You didn’t like me then, so why is it that you need to get all testosterone on me now??!!! I should have just left my skirt on. At least then I would be cooler!!! BAH!!! C’mon! I do, however love your trucks. I blame my jacked up old truck obsession on YOU Shippensburg. And that is ohhhhhhhkay (noddin’ ma’ head like yea).
My favorite was this:
Walking the back way away from the cemetery (through the yards…shhhh!), as I passed 1 particular house a gentleman opened his door to get his mail and exclaimed (no, really, he “exclaimed”) “MY! Now ain’t you a tall glass of ice tea!”.
‘Member when that happened?
To make that episode of angry Amber allllll better, I got to talk with Andrew about the pedigree of his dog (Rocky)…the one Imma gonna steal…shhhhhhhhh!!! He has a piece of paper that is about 3’ long with the ancestry of his dog on it!!!!! WHA??!! I don’t even have that and I’m a human!
3:45 pm
OMG. Kathi is still in bed! DOH!
Josh was an awesome friend and picked me up to get my van. Of course when I went around one corner after picking up Jezebel, stuff…liquid stuff…spilled out from somewhere…tsssssss. GAH! Give me a break!!! I got Jezebel home. She smelled like frickin’ propane, but I figured it was because she just had her tank filled. Yea. Just ignore it Amber. Make up stuff as you go along. Oh…and don’t smoke while driving or if you’re anywhere near the van, k?
6:30 pm:
Kathi’s done with her client (she’s a massage therapist and REALLY good at what she does!) and…yea, she’s starving!!! ‘Cause it’s 6:30 see and she somehow got onto the Amber diet of nothing until you feel like you’re gonna pass out (EAT!). Anyway, have you ever had portabella mushroom sandwiches grilled on an actual grill with lettuce from your own garden on big ol’ bulky rolls??!! No???? Well, you should go see Kathi then ‘cause WHOA! I’ve never tasted anything so amazingly delicious. We’ll all take a roadtrip to Shippensburg when I get back just to get another sammmmich! Do you like it that ½ of my blog is about what I ate? Yea? Wwwaaaahahahahaha! My job was to get chips. See, I failed miserably the first time (with the pizza). Kathi wanted salt & vinegar chips, so I offered to walk to the store to get some. Oh, and walking to the store is what a crazy person does I guess, since it’s a whole um…ONE block from her house!! Tssssssssss. I bought sour cream & onion chips that night. I just snuck that in there. I’m still embarrassed about it. It was a green bag, OK??!! It was cheaper than the other green bag of chips!! I don’t buy chips that often from a convenience store!!! Gimmie a break! AHHHHHHH!!! Ok, so this night I did it correctly. Salt and vinegar. Did I mention that they don’t make salt & vinegar in a ripple chip? Um…they do make sour cream & onion in a ripple chip though. (head in hands in shame).
9:00 pm:
Amber needs to dance or go someplace (ants in pants)!!! So Kathi, Josh, Andrew, and I all go back to Orky’s. Ah, but see, when you have 2 brothers playing pool and you unwittingly think that you may be able to team up and have fun, well, you’re totally wrong. Brothers are competitive. And those particular brothers are actually good at pool. So, to pass the time, Kathi and I get our own table, play songs on the juke box again and then loose our table (welllllll…we weren’t paying attention!).
So we start teams with Andrew and Josh. And everything is fine and fun. You see where this is going, right? It ain’t too bad, but all of a sudden I realize that I gots boys again. The real kind, who will keep you protected and drive away the scum. (heart). I don’t even know them that well, and they’re on it! Kathi and I don’t have to deal with a single incident allllllllll night. (sigh). Damn that was nice.
11:30 pm:
City walk home! All 4 of us. I could give a crap what Shippensburg thinks at this point. You’ll have your stories to tell to those who could not witness it. HA!
Home! And Trailer Park Boys on the couch snuggled up with a dog!!! Someone once told me that I really needed to see this show because it reminded them of me…um…well…I guess I’ll take that as a compliment? I totally laughed my ass off. To counter watching Trailer Park Boys, I will need to watch Planet Earth and Stephen Hawkins for approximately 6 hours.
12:00
BED! GO! Sleepy!
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