06/07/11

Woke up.  What is it 5am??!!  Did I sleep?  Were the stars just a dream?  Naw.  They were there.  I crawled out to find ‘em!!!  It’s cold this morning.  And if you’re 5’-9” and you want to sleep in an Element, push the passenger side front seat allllll the way up and sleep on that side!  That way maybe you can stretch all the way out.  Maybe. 

6:45 am:

Great Sand Dunes of Colorado!!!!  WOW!  WHA???!!!  There are flat plains, then mountains and in-between??!!  SAND DUNES!  I didn’t climb them though  L  Next time!  I walked around the “river” that rushes down from the mountains, collects the sand, and then deposits it to be blown back into the dunes!  WHOA!  It was amazingly windy too.  So much so I had to face my back to it a couple times so my eyes would stop watering.  WOW!  Aweshum!!!! 

8:30 am:

Breakfast at the restaurant connected to the camp site I rented last night.  I made a couple of friends there!  Surprise!  He (what ever his name was) let me in on all the awesomeness that is Arizona and Colorado…so much so that I have to save it for another time!  AH!  I told him he should just come with me to navigate me in the correct direction!  Pointing at a map at 8:30 in the morning ain’t gonna do me no good!!

4:15 pm:

Checked into the National 9 Inn in Roswell, New Mexico!  Wow it’s hot here!  And flat.  And dry.  But there are my ravens again!!  <3  I loaded my stuff in my room and needed something.  As I passed by the pool I noticed two dudes with tattoos that looked harmless so I decided to ask them where I would be able to purchase beer or whiskey.  Their answer?  Walgreens!!!  WHA?  Yep.  Right down the street just ¼ of a block.  Weird!   So I walk to Walgreens amidst honks (thank you army base) picked up my stuffs and walked back.

I want to swim.  Bad.  But there are dudes at the pool.  Next best thing?  Go out fully clothed and sit on the edge and splash yer’ feets aboot in the water!  YEA! 

These guys.  They’re what one (I don’t know who, ‘cause I just learned the term but…) would call “Roughneckers”.  Whasssa that you say?  Well, they’re oil rigger guys…yea.  I got confused too since it’s New Mexico and there aren’t any ocean rigs there!  Oh.  But maybe you figured it out already?  Rig doesn’t just mean “thing on ocean that pumps out oil” it also means those guys who drill down into the earth (New Mexico) to get oil.  Well I done learned a whole lot about oil drillin’ and that everyone has their specific job that is very specialized…like the guy who only works on the engines or the guy who just makes the drilling thing go into the earth.  Yea.  Matt, David, and Zircon (he was born in December).  They went swimming a bit and talked to me which was nice!  Zircon stayed in the hot tub the whole time.  Why people go in a hot tube in New Mexico, Texas, or Tennessee, I will never understand.  Here in the desert, I get it.  I kinda wish I had one right now….

Mid conversation Zircon (who’s been drinkin’) says (randomly), “I always seem to drink more around a purdy lady”.  Um……..ok….me too?

8:00 pm:

In my room trying to update my blog but being distracted by other stuffs (that’s easy to do with me!!).  AND!  The TV turns on –LOUD- to a Spanish children’s program.  AAAHHHH!  I figure out how to turn it off, sit back down and BAM!  TV!  LOUD!  AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!  What the heck??!!!  Me being all smaht and stuffs unplugs it from its source.  If it turns on again…we’re in trouble! 

8:40 pm:

TV settled.  Internet just about finished…knock on door.  Oh.  No.  I opened it a crack and who should be there but one of the roughneckers!  And what are the first words out of his mouth?  “We need adult supervision, can you come out again?”.  WHAT??!!  WTF??!!  What?  “We want you to come out and drink with us again, can you do that?”  No.  Sorry…oh I mean maybe…(no).  “Well, maybe is better than no, so maybe we’ll see you.”  Yea.  Not likely. 

Mace.  Taser.  Phone.  Chair.  This is getting to be a habit and I’m so getting bored of it! 

06/06/11

Ok.  Time to hit the road again!  I see the English guys packing up and Nigel is sad that we’re all leaving.  Awwwwwww. 

9:30 am:

Cadillac Ranch on Rt. 66!  WOW!  WOWOWOWOWOWOW!  They are Cadillacs that have been positioned into the ground like they were dropped from the sky!  I guess the deal is is that you have to spray paint them when you visit them…it was REAL windy that day.  The family that handed me the spray can informed me of this rule—I told them that they better not be trying to get me in trouble—unicorned!  I didn’t spray them because I was afraid I would somehow spray myself.  Next time though.  And yes, there will be a next time!  Upon walking back to my car, who should appear but the three English blokes!  Lee informed me that he just mentioned (after seeing me) that I was probably thinking they were stalking me…well…yes…a bit…then he let me know that they placed a tracking device on my car so they could keep track of me and keep me safe.  Awwwww.  See, Lee!  You really are nice!

Time unknown:

Stopped at a gas station with a Wendy’s for gas and food.  Of course this food consisted of a bun, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and pickle, with a wee bit of mayonnaise.  Dear Wendy’s, please get yourself a veggie burger!  The manager is mad that you still don’t have one.  He turned around to another person working when I asked him and said “yep, another one!  Another person asking for a veggie burger.  We really need to do something about this”.  I let him know Burger King has them…he didn’t like that one bit!  ;)  I ate on the tailgate and was visited by this gorgeous dog who looked ½ yellow lab, ½ wolf.  He wasn’t too impressed that I shared a bit of my bread with him.  Pretty sure he wanted some meat…or my leg…but he was sooooooo cute.  Mines! 

3:30 pm:

At the Great Sand Dunes in Colorado!  I’m going to camp out in my car tonight!  It’ll be fun!  Right?!  So I got to read (because they don’t have ze internets at this campsite) and no, the lady at the front office didn’t think it was weird that I was going to sleep in my car.  I guess a lot of people do that! 

Hanging out on the tailgate of my car and having a beer.  Then…I have to pee…so I walk to the bathrooms, which are maybe ½ a block from me.  Holy crap!  I nearly die!!!  What elevation am I at here??!!!!!!  It’s like I just ran uphill for ½ hour!!!!  Ouchie!!!!

Colorado is BEAUTIFUL by the way!  And the stars??!!  WOW!  I woke up around 2am and crawled out of my car just to look at the sky.  And when I say crawl, I mean crawl.  Amazon women and Honda Elements…well, let’s just say I can’t fully stretch out.  HA!  The sky is amazing though, like a blanket of stars covering the entire universe!!!  WHOA! 

I did survive the night.  It got cold at one point, but nicely so.  In the morning it was 53 degrees out! 

06/05/11

Today.  I’m going to stay put!  Just try to relax, Amber!!  GAWD!!!  You’ve been on the road for what, 15 days?  It’s not a frackin’ race!  Shhhhhhhhhhhh, baby.  Shush.  Settle yourself.

Ok (deep breath).  Stay put (deep breath).  I can do this (deep breath)…this is the point where I pass out…[thunk].

On my way to breakfast, I have to stop by the office to book another night…lollipop lady was there and we talked for a moment.  On my way to eat breakfast she tells me these words from her mouth:  “You just be careful of the Indians, honey if you know what I mean” (head lowered with stink eye).

Nope, I don’t know what you mean.  I will let you read my blog though and you can determine for yourself if it truly is the Indians that I need to look out for or the white race of redneck duchetubes.  Aw, Texas.

Breakfast!  At the Big Texan Steak House!  And they don’t call it the “Big Texan” just for fun!  That was the biggest breakfast I have evah seen!!!  HOLY LORD-AH!  Oh…and all my complaining about the people last night with their food and overeating?  Yea, I take that back because I shoved ALL of that food in my face!!!!!!!!!!!  That was an omelet (with veggies and American cheese), homefries, 2 biscuits, orange juice, and coffee.  I’m FULL!  ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! 

Afterwards, I do laundry and re-organize my car—this is where my parents get all confused because they’re watching my phone go back and forth and back and forth in the parking lot!  AHAHAHAHAHA!

It’s my papa’s birthday, so I called him!!  <3  He’s 76 and amazing.  Yep.  That’s my papa.  He just retired…I blame them both for my work ethic.  This is me trying to escape it just for a bit…must relax…ok!  Go!

1:00 pm:

I’m now going to sit by the pool and write, aka shush up and relax.  Please note the time (1pm) and the fact that I’m in Texas and it’s sunny…I’m sure many of you have seen the photo and it’s been 9 days…it’s still rather yucky.  Shhhhhhhhhh!!  Don’t tell my dermatologist!  Or my mum for that matter!!!  AAAHHHH!!!

I want to swim so bad, but…I can’t see anything in the water!  It’s so murky and reeks of chlorine!  You know, just because you dump a gallon of chlorine in there doesn’t make the pool clean!!  Gross!  So, I decide to stay in the lounge chair and continue to write.

As I’m writing these dudes come up to the pool, look around and leave.  Then they come back with swim gear on and jump in (ewwwww!!).  I’m minding my own business when one of them swims up near me and says “hi!”.  Ok.  I can deal with a “hi!”.  Hi!  His name is Nigel and he’s from England.  He’s on a road trip with his college buddies and they’re doing the 66 trip.  They started off in New York and they are going all the way to the end.  He’s always wanted to do this trip and now he can!  I love it!  So we talk and he’s normal and really nice.  Then I meet Lee who’s rather surly and sarcastic…yea, you can’t pull that one out on me dude.  I know you’re actually nice underneath that mask.  Then I meet Les (who’s been at the bar this whole time).  He’s just quiet and aloof. 

I tell Nigel my story and instead of being worried he actually gets really excited!  YAY!!  He offered that I could eat with them that evening if I needed some company.  Awwwww.  Thanks! 

6:00 pm:

Hungry…oh…and burnt…on my back…DOH!

I’m gonna try out the Big Texan Steak House and see if they have any food that a vegetarian can eat (yea).  English friends are sitting at a bar table with two trucker dudes.  They wave me over, but I let them know I am alllllll set sitting at the bar alone eatin’ my dinner!  Oh!  Look!  Salad!  Mozzarella sticks!  Bread!  Great!  Gimmie.  And the salad is COMPLETELY slathered in Ranch dressing and this bread?  Um…that looks like a crust to me and I think someone may have stolen the inside part…these mozzarella sticks are gonna be good right?  Naw.  Luckily they weren’t made with American cheese!!!!!  Aaaaaahahahahahaha! 

I can’t finish my mozzarella sticks.  They’re kinda gross, so I eat three, then bring the other 5 to the English blokes (‘cause I don’t like to waste food!!).  While I’m there, I’m introduced to the truckers (oh, lucky me), then Nigel leans over and tells me quietly to call him over in about 5 minutes so he can get away from the conversation.  Wha??!!  You don’t like talking about strip clubs and ladies bosoms with a couple of crude trucker dudes…who seem to be talking to you really loudly and slowly…maybe because yer foreign and they don’t know if you can understand them or not…

I tell Nigel deal.  Not two minutes later, Nigel turns around, looks at me and says “What?  Oh!  Sure!” and comes over and sits with me…um…I don’t believe I said anything, but ohkay.  So we talk about his trip and my trip, how Americans don’t really seem to vacation in their own country even though it’s beautiful, dreams and goals, and his boxer Suds.  He even showed me pictures of his dog and then got embarrassed and offered to buy me a beer to make up for boring me so much!  Wha?  Really???  This is the best conversation (and normal conversation) I’ve had with someone since Barb left!!  Tsssssss silly!!  Oh and all the while Nigel and I were talking the trucker dudes decided to act like they were 5 years old and joke about us talking together…(sigh).

Les had to take a shower, so he came over to let Nigel know, Nigel went back over to the table to be nice…Amber alone again.  Then Nigel had to take a shower (why is everyone taking a shower before dinner????).  When Nigel came back they all (just the English blokes) went into the main dining area to eat…leaving me at the bar with my beer and the gross trucker dudes at the table diagonally from me.

Redneck trucker dudes with the leer.  I have no way to describe the feeling or the look, but I do know that I get angry.  Real angry when it happens.  You can read their faces, clear as a book.  And so, I vent.  Online in order to keep the anger at bay.  I was having such a good time with the English guys and then these truckers just have to go and spoil it for everyone!  GAH!  Yes.  Real angry now.  To the point of shaking.  I bit my lip so hard it hurt.  Keep it at bay.  Keep the hate and anger hidden deep inside…someday someone will unlock this box that I have all of this anger hidden in.  Maybe it will be during the apocalypse and I’ll be able to survive something horrendous because of it.  Ooooooo!  That’ll be nice.  THIS is why I am not allowed to carry a gun, see?  During moments like this, I would feel that I was benefitting human kind by deleting a couple of jerks who think it’s ok to do what they do…which I would be (benefitting human kind), but then ye’all would loose me!!!  That’s not good!!!  Who would crush hug you until you can’t breathe??!!  Who would pinch the back of your arm just for fun??!!  Who would laugh uncontrollably at small things??!!  Who would “city walk” with you??!!  Seeeeeeeeee…still wish I had buried them.

Hey!  You won the contest!!  --what contest?--  The wet t-shirt contest mother-f’er  gush, gush, gush (that’s three gun shots to the chest). 

Out.  Get away, Amber.  Take the conversations you had with the English fellows and leave. 

Nighttime in Texas and I am enjoying the evening in the parking lot for a few quiet moments…and who should appear out of nowhere?  Kitteh!  All crying and meowin’ and needing attention.  Thank you kitty!  I will snuggle with you a bit and then we can go our separate ways.  Kitteh cat saved me and calmed me down…I don’t know who she was, but she found me.  (heart)

06/04/11

1:45 pm:

I skipped the Roy Rogers museum in Claremore, OK and drove straight to the Route 66 museum in Clinton, OK!  Wow.  That was nice!  But also sad.  See they built Interstate 40 because they thought it would be better for all of the highway travelers.  Well, I-40 skips all of the towns that Rt. 66 passed through and then everything along Rt. 66?  Well it’s all pretty much a ghost town for the entire stretch (or what’s left of the stretch).  If you have a chance, you should check out the documentary on it.  What’s aweshum is that I’ve passed by almost all of those places so far!!!!  And it’s in a mooooooovie!!  WOW!!!

For lunch!  Yes, I had lunch!  Subway 6” sandwich with EXTRA spinach please!  Oh, and extra cheese, ‘cause cheese is deeeeelicious.  Hey!  Speaking of cheese, the south only likes yellow American singles (did I already tell you this?  Hmmmm…I might have).  You don’t have a choice of anything else (unless you go to Subway) so if you want an omelet?  You get American cheese in it and it sticks all over your teef and they put like 6 pounds of it on.  Ew.

5:10 pm:

Texas.  This was the first rest stop in Texas and I had to pull over since I was all teary eyed from the beauty of Texas.  It’s flat for most of the time with gently sloping hills and very little vegetation.  Its gorgeousness is completely indescribable.  It’s shocking and breathtaking at the same time.  I hope I’m not the only one who VERY much enjoys driving those long straight stretches of back roads! 

7:30 pm:

Checkin’ in at what is called the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, TX.  This is a tourist attraction because you can get a free 72 ounce steak (as long as you eat it and the rest of the meal in under an hour)—I didn’t try it.  (snarf).  The hotel is set up to look like an old western town.  They have horse stables (if you’re traveling with your horses) and a pool shaped like the state of Texas with the Texas flag painted on the concrete surrounding the pool. 

So as I’m checking in the girls at the desk inform me that there are two other Mainers here and that they are covered in tattoos and are, as they describe these dudes “dreamy”.  AHAHAHAHA!  Then, what I believe to be the manager of the office (she’s about 45, but has had way too much sun and her hair is dyed maroon) looks at me and gives me a lollipop!  She’s concerned about me and my travels…maybe this lollipop is my good luck charm?  I haven’t eaten it yet (it’s June 14^th right now) since me and sugar don’t get along so well.  I will keep it until I get back then. 

8:00 pm:

I’m going to go next door and see what this hub-bub is all aboot.

AHHHHH!!!  Ok, so this place is crazy!  It has slot machines, a shooting game with zombies, more slot machines and SO many dead animal heads on the walls that it’s hard to differentiate the wall from animal carcass at points.  Families seem to love this place and they also love to bring their screaming children with them who enjoy running around willy-nilly!!  AHHHHHH!!!  Oh!  Hey!  I just used “hub-bub” and “willy-nilly”!  Morning!

This family sits next to me on the elevated stools and bar table and starts eating.  And eating. And eating.  I don’t really understand how they could possibly shove so much frackin’ food in their faces and still be able to walk!  AND THEN!  They get 15 or so to-go containers filled with food!!!  Where are they taking all of this fooooooood???!!!  Why am I sitting here drinking a whiskey when I could be scavenging off of their plates??  I could totally fit in-between a couple of them and just snatch bits off of their plates.  They wouldn’t even notice! 

All of the wait staff pretty much adopted me (I was there for an hour) so I had to tell my story over and over again.  And then!  Two older gentlemen who are the entertainment for the main dining area walk by me, stop, look at me, say “well, hey there pretty lady” and then proceed to serenade me!!!  Awwwwwwwww!!  And wow.  I don’t get embarrassed too easily, but when you’re sitting at a table by yourself and are being sung to by two cowboys and the bar area is packed…yea…that can be a bit disconcerting!  BUT!  I loved it!  So thank you for Amarillo by Morning.

9:00 pm:

Tired!  I so need to sleep!

And then there is this clicking noise coming from the bedside table, or the floor, or someplace near me…mechanical clicking and constant, not like huge creepy insect clicking.  Meh.  You know me.  I can sleep through a fire alarm so I can totally fall to sleep with this weird clicking noise…

WHAT IS IT??!!!