Today. I’m going to stay put! Just try to relax, Amber!! GAWD!!! You’ve been on the road for what, 15 days? It’s not a frackin’ race! Shhhhhhhhhhhh, baby. Shush. Settle yourself.
Ok (deep breath). Stay put (deep breath). I can do this (deep breath)…this is the point where I pass out…[thunk].
On my way to breakfast, I have to stop by the office to book another night…lollipop lady was there and we talked for a moment. On my way to eat breakfast she tells me these words from her mouth: “
Breakfast! At the Big Texan Steak House! And they don’t call it the “Big Texan” just for fun! That was the biggest breakfast I have evah seen!!! HOLY LORD-AH! Oh…and all my complaining about the people last night with their food and overeating? Yea, I take that back because I shoved ALL of that food in my face!!!!!!!!!!! That was an omelet (with veggies and American cheese), homefries, 2 biscuits, orange juice, and coffee. I’m FULL! ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!
Afterwards, I do laundry and re-organize my car—this is where my parents get all confused because they’re watching my phone go back and forth and back and forth in the parking lot! AHAHAHAHAHA!
It’s my papa’s birthday, so I called him!! <3 He’s 76 and amazing. Yep. That’s my papa. He just retired…I blame them both for my work ethic. This is me trying to escape it just for a bit…must relax…ok! Go!
1:00 pm:
I’m now going to sit by the pool and write, aka shush up and relax. Please note the time (1pm) and the fact that I’m in Texas and it’s sunny…I’m sure many of you have seen the photo and it’s been 9 days…it’s still rather yucky. Shhhhhhhhhh!! Don’t tell my dermatologist! Or my mum for that matter!!! AAAHHHH!!!
I want to swim so bad, but…I can’t see anything in the water! It’s so murky and reeks of chlorine! You know, just because you dump a gallon of chlorine in there doesn’t make the pool clean!! Gross! So, I decide to stay in the lounge chair and continue to write.
As I’m writing these dudes come up to the pool, look around and leave. Then they come back with swim gear on and jump in (ewwwww!!). I’m minding my own business when one of them swims up near me and says “hi!”. Ok. I can deal with a “hi!”. Hi! His name is Nigel and he’s from England New York
I tell Nigel my story and instead of being worried he actually gets really excited! YAY!! He offered that I could eat with them that evening if I needed some company. Awwwww. Thanks!
6:00 pm:
Hungry…oh…and burnt…on my back…DOH!
I’m gonna try out the Big Texan Steak House and see if they have any food that a vegetarian can eat (yea). English friends are sitting at a bar table with two trucker dudes. They wave me over, but I let them know I am alllllll set sitting at the bar alone eatin’ my dinner! Oh! Look! Salad! Mozzarella sticks! Bread! Great! Gimmie. And the salad is COMPLETELY slathered in Ranch dressing and this bread? Um…that looks like a crust to me and I think someone may have stolen the inside part…these mozzarella sticks are gonna be good right? Naw. Luckily they weren’t made with American cheese!!!!! Aaaaaahahahahahaha!
I can’t finish my mozzarella sticks. They’re kinda gross, so I eat three, then bring the other 5 to the English blokes (‘cause I don’t like to waste food!!). While I’m there, I’m introduced to the truckers (oh, lucky me), then Nigel leans over and tells me quietly to call him over in about 5 minutes so he can get away from the conversation. Wha??!! You don’t like talking about strip clubs and ladies bosoms with a couple of crude trucker dudes…who seem to be talking to you really loudly and slowly…maybe because yer foreign and they don’t know if you can understand them or not…
I tell Nigel deal. Not two minutes later, Nigel turns around, looks at me and says “What? Oh! Sure!” and comes over and sits with me…um…I don’t believe I said anything, but ohkay. So we talk about his trip and my trip, how Americans don’t really seem to vacation in their own country even though it’s beautiful, dreams and goals, and his boxer Suds. He even showed me pictures of his dog and then got embarrassed and offered to buy me a beer to make up for boring me so much! Wha? Really??? This is the best conversation (and normal conversation) I’ve had with someone since Barb left!! Tsssssss silly!! Oh and all the while Nigel and I were talking the trucker dudes decided to act like they were 5 years old and joke about us talking together…(sigh).
Les had to take a shower, so he came over to let Nigel know, Nigel went back over to the table to be nice…Amber alone again. Then Nigel had to take a shower (why is everyone taking a shower before dinner????). When Nigel came back they all (just the English blokes) went into the main dining area to eat…leaving me at the bar with my beer and the gross trucker dudes at the table diagonally from me.
Redneck trucker dudes with the leer. I have no way to describe the feeling or the look, but I do know that I get angry. Real angry when it happens. You can read their faces, clear as a book. And so, I vent. Online in order to keep the anger at bay. I was having such a good time with the English guys and then these truckers just have to go and spoil it for everyone! GAH! Yes. Real angry now. To the point of shaking. I bit my lip so hard it hurt. Keep it at bay. Keep the hate and anger hidden deep inside…someday someone will unlock this box that I have all of this anger hidden in. Maybe it will be during the apocalypse and I’ll be able to survive something horrendous because of it. Ooooooo! That’ll be nice. THIS is why I am not allowed to carry a gun, see? During moments like this, I would feel that I was benefitting human kind by deleting a couple of jerks who think it’s ok to do what they do…which I would be (benefitting human kind), but then ye’all would loose me!!! That’s not good!!! Who would crush hug you until you can’t breathe??!! Who would pinch the back of your arm just for fun??!! Who would laugh uncontrollably at small things??!! Who would “city walk” with you??!! Seeeeeeeeee…still wish I had buried them.
Hey! You won the contest!! --what contest?-- The wet t-shirt contest mother-f’er gush, gush, gush (that’s three gun shots to the chest).
Out. Get away, Amber. Take the conversations you had with the English fellows and leave.
Nighttime in Texas and I am enjoying the evening in the parking lot for a few quiet moments…and who should appear out of nowhere? Kitteh! All crying and meowin’ and needing attention. Thank you kitty! I will snuggle with you a bit and then we can go our separate ways. Kitteh cat saved me and calmed me down…I don’t know who she was, but she found me. (heart)
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