06/10/11

UP! 

I’m packing my car to leave and this woman walks up to me (Anna).  She’s dressed like…um…like she went out the night before?  Is that the nice way to put it?  She’s all busting out the top and stuffs (snarf) no pun intended…it doesn’t look so comfortable especially for 8 in the morning!  So Anna walks up to me and asks if I could possibly give her a ride (she’ll give me $5) to go get her daughter.  I pause for a moment and say “sure”!  I mean, really…what can she do?  I’m in shorts and boots.  Don’t mess with me!  Ok…that doesn’t sound so very threatening, but you’ve probably never seen me in shorts and boots…alright, alright.  Tsssss.  No it’s not very threatening, but I gots argyle socks on too!  And like a foot of height on her…and my aqua braid clip and unicorn necklace on…So I tell her I just need to check out and give me a minute more to finish packing my car.  She thanks me and goes back to her room to grab her purse.  On my second trip by, this dude comes out of the room and thanks me sooooo much for giving them a ride.  Them a ride.  Um…nope.  I didn’t sign up for that!  He seems nice enough, but A) I don’t have room in my car for TWO people!  Where are the bears gonna sit??!!  And B) there is no way in hell I am letting either one of you sit behind me.  I cordially let him know that there is no room in my car…at this point they are both at my car and funny that, he actually checked!  Yea.  Unless you want to hold my clothes bar with my clothes on it or all of my plastic containers, there ain’t no room. 

He thanks me anyway and tells Anna she should just go.  Alright.  Everybody in!  Well, just you Anna! 

Anna gets in my car, looks around real slowly, looks back at me…looks around again and says, “are you a bounty hunter?”  AHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Awesome!  Yes.  (nods head) Yes I am.  Nice to meet you.  Naw…I just shrugged and looked at her dead in the eye.  She then asks me who I was targeting!  WHA??!!  Wow!  I can’t give you that information!  THEN she asks me where I was headed to next after my business in Tucson was finished.  Sheesh lady!  I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure these are NOT the questions you ask someone you think to be a bounty hunter.  I of course gave her a bunch of vague answers to keep her wondering.  I didn’t lie!  Nope!  I just didn’t answer all of them…waaaaaahahahaha!

So, then!  She asks that if her daughter is dressed if I could drop them both off at the Y!  Really?  You want me (a bounty hunter) to take you and your young daughter to the Y??!!  What is wrong with you lady??  No.  Sorry.  I have to hit the road.  She understood this…and that I probably had a tight time schedule. HA!  So off went Anna. 

10:40 am:

Tooley’s Café for breakfast!  This is right by Mast which is a shop that Mellow owns with a couple other people!  You remember Mellow right?  YEA!!  So I eat my delicious bean, egg, salsa, coffee breakfast.  Mast is still not open.  They’re late.  (sigh)  I decide to go into this used/vintage/junk shop to pass the time, which was an awesome idea, ‘cause I got BOOTS!  And I met two lovely women who own/work there!  They loved what I was doing and one of the women actually did the same thing in the 70’s only with hitchhiking and stuff.  

Back to Mast where I meet Tasha!  Mellow is apparently in Denmark for the week.  AH!  That’s ok.  The shop is lovely and well merchandised and gorgeous!

Time unknown:

Rest stop for gas and bafroom break!  So I get gas, pull my car up to a parking spot, step out of my car and head to the doors of the Love’s pit stop.  7 dudes hanging out right in front of the door having a conversation…

All conversation stops and two of them look at me with mouths agape.  Um…yea…I would like to get through here or Imma gonna pee ma’ pants guys.  One of them gets the hint (after I say excuse me) and slowly moves out of the way.  Hey!  Don’t have your meet and greet right in front of the door ok???!!  I think it was my rainbow socks and boots that got them all confused and speechless.  It does it to them every time!  Waaaaaaahahahaha!  It’s my secret weapon!

   

1:00 pm:

Downtown Tucson and this is where I meet up with Chris Kasper!!!  WHOA!  I went to high school with Kasper in Germany in the early 90’s!!  He’s still amazing and was very upset with me that I didn’t call him the night before.  Next time.  Promise!  So he’s gonna come out to Maine in the winter and teach me to snowboard for real!  YAY!  WOW!  I just had coffee with Chris Kasper.  I think I may still be in shock from this…

4:40 pm:

Hellllllloooooo Phoenix Arizona!  Oh!  And Zia Records!  Yea, I stopped in to buy some CDs.  I know I have a gajillion songs on my iPod and 60 CDs in my car, but I needed MORE!!!  HA!  I got so confused in that store!  Ehem…and nobody asked me if I needed help…mmmmm.  Hmmmmm.  What did I buy??  Oh!  The new Lady Gaga (of course) and Kid Cudi and um…Blaze of Glory soundtrack (that’s Jon Bon Jovi)!  YAY!

OMG!  SUE AUDET!!!!  AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!  XOXOXOXOX!!

Sue is amazing!  If you haven’t met her, well you’re missing out on one of the most vibrant and kind people of the whole universe!!!  I have a lot of those people in my life.  And I love them so much.  They make everything ok.

So I follow her home (she drives like a crazy person…whereas I drive like an old lady, so it was interesting trying not to loose her!!!)  I have my own room!  And bathroom!!  And TOILETRIES!!!  And snacks, wine, whiskey and JUICE BOXES!  WHA???!!  Ok, so yea.  I cried!  I’m and emotional wreck!  I haven’t had real human contact in like a week!  This girl runs on love, sun, and smooooooshin’ crushes, so after a whole week her energy tank gets a little low.

6:00 pm:

Dinner!  At the Loving Hut which only serves vegan dishes.  Wow!  Delicious!  And I’ve been running on chips, rice cakes, beans, corn, juice boxes and coffee.  Re-boot!!!!

Time unknown:

Back to her apartment, which is super nice!  She has a wee little balcony, laundry, 3 pools, 2 jacuzzis, and an exercise room!!  Oh!  Not all of that is in her apartment!!!  Just the balcony (um…which is outside silly) and the laundry!  HA!

We change to go out and that’s when I see my back.  Texas did a number on me alright.  Gross!!!!  Let’s um…try to see what we can do about that, k?  EW.

8:00 pm:

Rusty Spur in Phoenix, AZ!  Live country music by a band…oh no!  I forgot the name of the band!  Well, they’re these old guys and they cover songs and once in a while mix in some dirty bits with the real song…yea…sometimes its awkward! 

We’re here to see real live cowboys.  Yea.  What do we get?  Frat boy golf team.  Ugh.  With their pastel polo shirts, white or khaki shorts, and their flip flops or (snarf) boat shoes.  AAAAHAHAHAHA!  Ew.  One guy (not part of the frat boy crew) decided it would be a good idea to stare relentlessly and Sue and I.  Yea.  Sue is a lot like me…don’t chu stare!!!  She’ll get all mad about it especially if you’re sitting with a lady, dude.  Come on now!  GAH!

So, we’re sitting here at a high round table with 4 other chairs around it and this couple walks up and sits down across from us.  Seemed fine until I notice his water bottle, which he brought in with him…um…why does it look so gross, Sue?  Ah!  Just wait for it…blech.  It’s your chew spit container.  GGGRRRRRROOOOOOSSSSSSSSS!!!  Don’t put that on the table!!!  AH!  Don’t spit into it, dude!  GAH!  Yucky. 

The couple’s parents (we think) walk in and sit next to us.  They’re nice.  Oh, and now a little too nice.  The wife’s comment to me?  We’ve been married 28 years and have been living in sin for 3.  That’s why our marriage works.  Um…ok…um…………OH!  Oh!  Ok, see we don’t roll that way, babe sorry!  AH!  No.  Oh gosh.  But we talk with them.  I guess the husband is on the road a lot and it just works for them.  Yep.  Please don’t ask us where we’re headed to next.  Please don’t. 

Sue and I skedaddle outta there to check out Giligan’s which has a midget bar.  Literally.  The bar is tiny and there is a guy working it.  He doesn’t look too happy, but he’s gettin’ papers, so…I guess it’s ok?

Bunny rides!  YAY!  This is a extended golf cart that’s lit in neon pink inside that is rather like a taxi cab but all exposed and the guys just get paid by tips.  He has a bright pink shirt on that says Bunny Rides on the back.  WHEEEEEEEEE!!!  I got so esssscited about riding in a golf cart, that I had to inform everyone that we were in one while we were driving!  The people in the cars were jealous.  Yep.  I saw it all over their faces!  Or scared of me?  Naw, they were jealous.

We sit at the bar—oh!  the bigger one, and have a drink.  Pitbull comes on and ye’all know I haven’t danced in a bit so I start chair dancing, which is basically me just sitting in a chair looking like I have ta pee I think.  Laura sees me and dances over to me…who’s Laura, Amber???  Um…some girl…who saw me chair dancin’…yea…you know…I attract them.  She holds out her hand to get me to dance with her.  Nope.  Sorry, hon.  I don’t know you and there are way too many people in here for me to justify getting up and dancing with you since we would be the only ones doing so.  I attract attention sometimes, but I’m not gonna force attract it.  (shakes head ‘til dizzy)  Laura found some drunken dude to “dance” with…

Then we met this lovely guy (name forgotten, sorry) who decided to call me Ruby.  (shrug) wha?  Ohhhhkay.  Then proceeded to introduce me to his friends as Ruby.  Yep.  Ok then.  When do we get to go home, Sue?  Aaaaaahahahahaha!  Oh!  Look!  They don’t believe your real name is Sue!  HA!  Tssssssssss. 

Out.  We got a bike currier guy to drive us to Sue’s car.  Sue didn’t drink, don’t chu worry!!!  I asked him if he could take me to Alaska in his bike currier contraption because it was so nice.  He’s gonna think about it.  WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

12:00:

Bedtime, girls!  Get your sleep on!  We gots us a big day of hiking tomorrow!!!

06/09/11

8:30 am

Drving!  Again!  I know!  Shocking right?  Tssssssss!  So, I’m in Carlsbad, NM and have to get to Tucson, AZ.  I wanted to stop and see my friend Jose, but he’s heading to Phoenix for a wedding…maybe I’ll catch up with him in Phoenix?  In order to get to Tucson , I have to (in case you forgot) drive through a desert “forest” fire (200,000 acres of it) and avoid Juarez, Mexico (drug wars)…YAY! 

So, here I am driving knowing now that the cloudy skies are not fog or smog, but real live smoke and I can see it clearly now.  The smoke!  It’s not just a haze in the distance, but above me on the highway!!!  AH!  There are still people on the road though and I checked with road closures and there were none the way I was going.  Keep driving!  Mother Nature is awesome in what she does.  Oh, and as a side note, I don’t throw my cigarette butts out the window…I have a cup with water in it that I keep in my car and clean out every time I stop at a gas station or hotel.  I know it’s gross, but I am not going to be the cause of more acreage burning!!!!!  Ok, yea, it’s super gross.

So I get some on video while I’m driving and then conveniently:  a rest stop!  YES!!!  I’m able to show you what I see!!!  And ants…and a 4 fingered handprint…Roswell?  Hmmmmmmm…

1:00 pm:

New Mexico border visitor center!  CLEAR!  No, Juarez drug wars in ma’ face, no fire (just smoke) and now it’s all clear on this side!  YAY!!!  There are signs up everywhere warning you about the rattlesnakes though!  AH!  I have yet to see one, which is good…and I’m a little disappointed too.  (pout)

7:30 pm:

Tucson, Arizona!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!  Soooooo tired!  And somehow missed Molly’s and Chris’s messages that I’m welcome in their homes in Tucson.  BAH!  Oh, well… 

See now!  That was a pretty uneventful day!!  Nice!  Other than the smoke and war and stuff…

06/08/11

6:20 am:

UP!!!  And at ‘em as they say!

9:30 am:

Roswell, NM visitor center.  And here I met Suzy!  She was the most amazing visitor center person I have ever met!  I also think she was at most 4’-6”!  Just a wee lil’ thing!  She gave me all sorts of information on where to go in Roswell and pamphlets on the caverns (and when the last tours were)!  She asked me where I would be going after the caverns and I told her El Paso…well…yea…that wasn’t a good idea!  She got all sorts of concerned for me because Juarez, Mexico borders El Paso, Texas and I guess there is some sort of bad drug war going on right now.  (sigh)  She actually grab my arm and said “sweetie, we need to figure out how to get you past El Paso without you getting anywhere near the border!!!” and she had quite a grip for a wee lil’ thang!  Great!  So now I have Desert fires, rednecks, and Juarez drug wars to look out for…um…WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!! 

I went to the museum there and that was cool.  Like a museum but centered around the Spanish and Native Americans and cowboys and the present.  It was heart wrenching at points, but nice to see. 

I also decided to check out the UFO museum.  WHOA!  This is in a building that looks like a high school lunchroom, but with black pegboard everywhere and a spray-painted gray ceiling.  SO much information.  I’m sure that if I was into this sort of stuff I could have spent HOURS here reading everything.  I did spend 1 ½ hours there reading a whole lot of stuff!  I think they have every piece of documentation from every single person who was involved directly or indirectly during the “landing”!!!  It is quite interesting, but iza gots a wee bit bored after a while.  There’s even a research center there, so if you have questions about things, you can go in there and research it!  WHOA!  Aliens.  Them are cool! 

3:30 pm:

Carlsbad Caverns!!!!  This is a GIGANTIC cave in New Mexico that was discovered in the…um…1800’s (?) because some guy was wandering about miles from it at dusk and thought he saw huge plumes of smoke coming from the area…little did he know that the plumes of smoke were hundreds upon thousands of BATS emerging to feed at night!  WOW!!  It’s believed that the bats roost (roost?) here because there’s a river a few miles away (aka bugs).  Unfortunately, New Mexico hasn’t seen rainfall since September 2010; consequently, the bugs are pretty much non-existent, which means that the bats are sparse right now.  All in all, there were only about 300 bats that flew from the cave that night instead of 600,000…think about that for a minute…SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND!!!  AH!!!!  BATS!!!  It twas amazing anyway and I stayed until I could not see anymore (it was me and one other couple in the end…there were about 80-100 people there to start).  Not only was seeing the bats fly from the cave amazing, but the quiet swooshing noise they make with their wings is breathtaking! 

Before the bat viewing I also got to watch Turkey Buzzards circle the area and valley below…one of them left me a feather.  (heart)  This is what Wayne sent me after seeing the feather:  Scientific name:  Cathartes Aura or Golden Purifier.  Symbolism:  purification-death and rebirth-new vision.  Turkey Buzzards left me a gift guide.

The caverns themselves you can tour.  I think it’s about a 3 mile hike down into the belly of the earth.  Maybe 3?  I don’t remember!  GAH!  Anyway, it’s SHOCKINGLY GORGEOUS!  If you go anywhere in your life, please go to the caverns in Carlsbad.  You will not be disappointed!  I can’t even describe it and pictures do it no justice what-so-ever!  It’s HUGE and quiet and ancient.  The bats go deep into the cave on the other end, so one does not disturb them while viewing the other part of the cave.  OK!  GO!  We’ll talk about it together when you get back!!!!

9:00 pm

Whites City, NM which is right below the caverns.

Checked into a hotel and crashed.

06/07/11

Woke up.  What is it 5am??!!  Did I sleep?  Were the stars just a dream?  Naw.  They were there.  I crawled out to find ‘em!!!  It’s cold this morning.  And if you’re 5’-9” and you want to sleep in an Element, push the passenger side front seat allllll the way up and sleep on that side!  That way maybe you can stretch all the way out.  Maybe. 

6:45 am:

Great Sand Dunes of Colorado!!!!  WOW!  WHA???!!!  There are flat plains, then mountains and in-between??!!  SAND DUNES!  I didn’t climb them though  L  Next time!  I walked around the “river” that rushes down from the mountains, collects the sand, and then deposits it to be blown back into the dunes!  WHOA!  It was amazingly windy too.  So much so I had to face my back to it a couple times so my eyes would stop watering.  WOW!  Aweshum!!!! 

8:30 am:

Breakfast at the restaurant connected to the camp site I rented last night.  I made a couple of friends there!  Surprise!  He (what ever his name was) let me in on all the awesomeness that is Arizona and Colorado…so much so that I have to save it for another time!  AH!  I told him he should just come with me to navigate me in the correct direction!  Pointing at a map at 8:30 in the morning ain’t gonna do me no good!!

4:15 pm:

Checked into the National 9 Inn in Roswell, New Mexico!  Wow it’s hot here!  And flat.  And dry.  But there are my ravens again!!  <3  I loaded my stuff in my room and needed something.  As I passed by the pool I noticed two dudes with tattoos that looked harmless so I decided to ask them where I would be able to purchase beer or whiskey.  Their answer?  Walgreens!!!  WHA?  Yep.  Right down the street just ¼ of a block.  Weird!   So I walk to Walgreens amidst honks (thank you army base) picked up my stuffs and walked back.

I want to swim.  Bad.  But there are dudes at the pool.  Next best thing?  Go out fully clothed and sit on the edge and splash yer’ feets aboot in the water!  YEA! 

These guys.  They’re what one (I don’t know who, ‘cause I just learned the term but…) would call “Roughneckers”.  Whasssa that you say?  Well, they’re oil rigger guys…yea.  I got confused too since it’s New Mexico and there aren’t any ocean rigs there!  Oh.  But maybe you figured it out already?  Rig doesn’t just mean “thing on ocean that pumps out oil” it also means those guys who drill down into the earth (New Mexico) to get oil.  Well I done learned a whole lot about oil drillin’ and that everyone has their specific job that is very specialized…like the guy who only works on the engines or the guy who just makes the drilling thing go into the earth.  Yea.  Matt, David, and Zircon (he was born in December).  They went swimming a bit and talked to me which was nice!  Zircon stayed in the hot tub the whole time.  Why people go in a hot tube in New Mexico, Texas, or Tennessee, I will never understand.  Here in the desert, I get it.  I kinda wish I had one right now….

Mid conversation Zircon (who’s been drinkin’) says (randomly), “I always seem to drink more around a purdy lady”.  Um……..ok….me too?

8:00 pm:

In my room trying to update my blog but being distracted by other stuffs (that’s easy to do with me!!).  AND!  The TV turns on –LOUD- to a Spanish children’s program.  AAAHHHH!  I figure out how to turn it off, sit back down and BAM!  TV!  LOUD!  AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!  What the heck??!!!  Me being all smaht and stuffs unplugs it from its source.  If it turns on again…we’re in trouble! 

8:40 pm:

TV settled.  Internet just about finished…knock on door.  Oh.  No.  I opened it a crack and who should be there but one of the roughneckers!  And what are the first words out of his mouth?  “We need adult supervision, can you come out again?”.  WHAT??!!  WTF??!!  What?  “We want you to come out and drink with us again, can you do that?”  No.  Sorry…oh I mean maybe…(no).  “Well, maybe is better than no, so maybe we’ll see you.”  Yea.  Not likely. 

Mace.  Taser.  Phone.  Chair.  This is getting to be a habit and I’m so getting bored of it! 

06/06/11

Ok.  Time to hit the road again!  I see the English guys packing up and Nigel is sad that we’re all leaving.  Awwwwwww. 

9:30 am:

Cadillac Ranch on Rt. 66!  WOW!  WOWOWOWOWOWOW!  They are Cadillacs that have been positioned into the ground like they were dropped from the sky!  I guess the deal is is that you have to spray paint them when you visit them…it was REAL windy that day.  The family that handed me the spray can informed me of this rule—I told them that they better not be trying to get me in trouble—unicorned!  I didn’t spray them because I was afraid I would somehow spray myself.  Next time though.  And yes, there will be a next time!  Upon walking back to my car, who should appear but the three English blokes!  Lee informed me that he just mentioned (after seeing me) that I was probably thinking they were stalking me…well…yes…a bit…then he let me know that they placed a tracking device on my car so they could keep track of me and keep me safe.  Awwwww.  See, Lee!  You really are nice!

Time unknown:

Stopped at a gas station with a Wendy’s for gas and food.  Of course this food consisted of a bun, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and pickle, with a wee bit of mayonnaise.  Dear Wendy’s, please get yourself a veggie burger!  The manager is mad that you still don’t have one.  He turned around to another person working when I asked him and said “yep, another one!  Another person asking for a veggie burger.  We really need to do something about this”.  I let him know Burger King has them…he didn’t like that one bit!  ;)  I ate on the tailgate and was visited by this gorgeous dog who looked ½ yellow lab, ½ wolf.  He wasn’t too impressed that I shared a bit of my bread with him.  Pretty sure he wanted some meat…or my leg…but he was sooooooo cute.  Mines! 

3:30 pm:

At the Great Sand Dunes in Colorado!  I’m going to camp out in my car tonight!  It’ll be fun!  Right?!  So I got to read (because they don’t have ze internets at this campsite) and no, the lady at the front office didn’t think it was weird that I was going to sleep in my car.  I guess a lot of people do that! 

Hanging out on the tailgate of my car and having a beer.  Then…I have to pee…so I walk to the bathrooms, which are maybe ½ a block from me.  Holy crap!  I nearly die!!!  What elevation am I at here??!!!!!!  It’s like I just ran uphill for ½ hour!!!!  Ouchie!!!!

Colorado is BEAUTIFUL by the way!  And the stars??!!  WOW!  I woke up around 2am and crawled out of my car just to look at the sky.  And when I say crawl, I mean crawl.  Amazon women and Honda Elements…well, let’s just say I can’t fully stretch out.  HA!  The sky is amazing though, like a blanket of stars covering the entire universe!!!  WHOA! 

I did survive the night.  It got cold at one point, but nicely so.  In the morning it was 53 degrees out! 

06/05/11

Today.  I’m going to stay put!  Just try to relax, Amber!!  GAWD!!!  You’ve been on the road for what, 15 days?  It’s not a frackin’ race!  Shhhhhhhhhhhh, baby.  Shush.  Settle yourself.

Ok (deep breath).  Stay put (deep breath).  I can do this (deep breath)…this is the point where I pass out…[thunk].

On my way to breakfast, I have to stop by the office to book another night…lollipop lady was there and we talked for a moment.  On my way to eat breakfast she tells me these words from her mouth:  “You just be careful of the Indians, honey if you know what I mean” (head lowered with stink eye).

Nope, I don’t know what you mean.  I will let you read my blog though and you can determine for yourself if it truly is the Indians that I need to look out for or the white race of redneck duchetubes.  Aw, Texas.

Breakfast!  At the Big Texan Steak House!  And they don’t call it the “Big Texan” just for fun!  That was the biggest breakfast I have evah seen!!!  HOLY LORD-AH!  Oh…and all my complaining about the people last night with their food and overeating?  Yea, I take that back because I shoved ALL of that food in my face!!!!!!!!!!!  That was an omelet (with veggies and American cheese), homefries, 2 biscuits, orange juice, and coffee.  I’m FULL!  ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! 

Afterwards, I do laundry and re-organize my car—this is where my parents get all confused because they’re watching my phone go back and forth and back and forth in the parking lot!  AHAHAHAHAHA!

It’s my papa’s birthday, so I called him!!  <3  He’s 76 and amazing.  Yep.  That’s my papa.  He just retired…I blame them both for my work ethic.  This is me trying to escape it just for a bit…must relax…ok!  Go!

1:00 pm:

I’m now going to sit by the pool and write, aka shush up and relax.  Please note the time (1pm) and the fact that I’m in Texas and it’s sunny…I’m sure many of you have seen the photo and it’s been 9 days…it’s still rather yucky.  Shhhhhhhhhh!!  Don’t tell my dermatologist!  Or my mum for that matter!!!  AAAHHHH!!!

I want to swim so bad, but…I can’t see anything in the water!  It’s so murky and reeks of chlorine!  You know, just because you dump a gallon of chlorine in there doesn’t make the pool clean!!  Gross!  So, I decide to stay in the lounge chair and continue to write.

As I’m writing these dudes come up to the pool, look around and leave.  Then they come back with swim gear on and jump in (ewwwww!!).  I’m minding my own business when one of them swims up near me and says “hi!”.  Ok.  I can deal with a “hi!”.  Hi!  His name is Nigel and he’s from England.  He’s on a road trip with his college buddies and they’re doing the 66 trip.  They started off in New York and they are going all the way to the end.  He’s always wanted to do this trip and now he can!  I love it!  So we talk and he’s normal and really nice.  Then I meet Lee who’s rather surly and sarcastic…yea, you can’t pull that one out on me dude.  I know you’re actually nice underneath that mask.  Then I meet Les (who’s been at the bar this whole time).  He’s just quiet and aloof. 

I tell Nigel my story and instead of being worried he actually gets really excited!  YAY!!  He offered that I could eat with them that evening if I needed some company.  Awwwww.  Thanks! 

6:00 pm:

Hungry…oh…and burnt…on my back…DOH!

I’m gonna try out the Big Texan Steak House and see if they have any food that a vegetarian can eat (yea).  English friends are sitting at a bar table with two trucker dudes.  They wave me over, but I let them know I am alllllll set sitting at the bar alone eatin’ my dinner!  Oh!  Look!  Salad!  Mozzarella sticks!  Bread!  Great!  Gimmie.  And the salad is COMPLETELY slathered in Ranch dressing and this bread?  Um…that looks like a crust to me and I think someone may have stolen the inside part…these mozzarella sticks are gonna be good right?  Naw.  Luckily they weren’t made with American cheese!!!!!  Aaaaaahahahahahaha! 

I can’t finish my mozzarella sticks.  They’re kinda gross, so I eat three, then bring the other 5 to the English blokes (‘cause I don’t like to waste food!!).  While I’m there, I’m introduced to the truckers (oh, lucky me), then Nigel leans over and tells me quietly to call him over in about 5 minutes so he can get away from the conversation.  Wha??!!  You don’t like talking about strip clubs and ladies bosoms with a couple of crude trucker dudes…who seem to be talking to you really loudly and slowly…maybe because yer foreign and they don’t know if you can understand them or not…

I tell Nigel deal.  Not two minutes later, Nigel turns around, looks at me and says “What?  Oh!  Sure!” and comes over and sits with me…um…I don’t believe I said anything, but ohkay.  So we talk about his trip and my trip, how Americans don’t really seem to vacation in their own country even though it’s beautiful, dreams and goals, and his boxer Suds.  He even showed me pictures of his dog and then got embarrassed and offered to buy me a beer to make up for boring me so much!  Wha?  Really???  This is the best conversation (and normal conversation) I’ve had with someone since Barb left!!  Tsssssss silly!!  Oh and all the while Nigel and I were talking the trucker dudes decided to act like they were 5 years old and joke about us talking together…(sigh).

Les had to take a shower, so he came over to let Nigel know, Nigel went back over to the table to be nice…Amber alone again.  Then Nigel had to take a shower (why is everyone taking a shower before dinner????).  When Nigel came back they all (just the English blokes) went into the main dining area to eat…leaving me at the bar with my beer and the gross trucker dudes at the table diagonally from me.

Redneck trucker dudes with the leer.  I have no way to describe the feeling or the look, but I do know that I get angry.  Real angry when it happens.  You can read their faces, clear as a book.  And so, I vent.  Online in order to keep the anger at bay.  I was having such a good time with the English guys and then these truckers just have to go and spoil it for everyone!  GAH!  Yes.  Real angry now.  To the point of shaking.  I bit my lip so hard it hurt.  Keep it at bay.  Keep the hate and anger hidden deep inside…someday someone will unlock this box that I have all of this anger hidden in.  Maybe it will be during the apocalypse and I’ll be able to survive something horrendous because of it.  Ooooooo!  That’ll be nice.  THIS is why I am not allowed to carry a gun, see?  During moments like this, I would feel that I was benefitting human kind by deleting a couple of jerks who think it’s ok to do what they do…which I would be (benefitting human kind), but then ye’all would loose me!!!  That’s not good!!!  Who would crush hug you until you can’t breathe??!!  Who would pinch the back of your arm just for fun??!!  Who would laugh uncontrollably at small things??!!  Who would “city walk” with you??!!  Seeeeeeeeee…still wish I had buried them.

Hey!  You won the contest!!  --what contest?--  The wet t-shirt contest mother-f’er  gush, gush, gush (that’s three gun shots to the chest). 

Out.  Get away, Amber.  Take the conversations you had with the English fellows and leave. 

Nighttime in Texas and I am enjoying the evening in the parking lot for a few quiet moments…and who should appear out of nowhere?  Kitteh!  All crying and meowin’ and needing attention.  Thank you kitty!  I will snuggle with you a bit and then we can go our separate ways.  Kitteh cat saved me and calmed me down…I don’t know who she was, but she found me.  (heart)

06/04/11

1:45 pm:

I skipped the Roy Rogers museum in Claremore, OK and drove straight to the Route 66 museum in Clinton, OK!  Wow.  That was nice!  But also sad.  See they built Interstate 40 because they thought it would be better for all of the highway travelers.  Well, I-40 skips all of the towns that Rt. 66 passed through and then everything along Rt. 66?  Well it’s all pretty much a ghost town for the entire stretch (or what’s left of the stretch).  If you have a chance, you should check out the documentary on it.  What’s aweshum is that I’ve passed by almost all of those places so far!!!!  And it’s in a mooooooovie!!  WOW!!!

For lunch!  Yes, I had lunch!  Subway 6” sandwich with EXTRA spinach please!  Oh, and extra cheese, ‘cause cheese is deeeeelicious.  Hey!  Speaking of cheese, the south only likes yellow American singles (did I already tell you this?  Hmmmm…I might have).  You don’t have a choice of anything else (unless you go to Subway) so if you want an omelet?  You get American cheese in it and it sticks all over your teef and they put like 6 pounds of it on.  Ew.

5:10 pm:

Texas.  This was the first rest stop in Texas and I had to pull over since I was all teary eyed from the beauty of Texas.  It’s flat for most of the time with gently sloping hills and very little vegetation.  Its gorgeousness is completely indescribable.  It’s shocking and breathtaking at the same time.  I hope I’m not the only one who VERY much enjoys driving those long straight stretches of back roads! 

7:30 pm:

Checkin’ in at what is called the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, TX.  This is a tourist attraction because you can get a free 72 ounce steak (as long as you eat it and the rest of the meal in under an hour)—I didn’t try it.  (snarf).  The hotel is set up to look like an old western town.  They have horse stables (if you’re traveling with your horses) and a pool shaped like the state of Texas with the Texas flag painted on the concrete surrounding the pool. 

So as I’m checking in the girls at the desk inform me that there are two other Mainers here and that they are covered in tattoos and are, as they describe these dudes “dreamy”.  AHAHAHAHA!  Then, what I believe to be the manager of the office (she’s about 45, but has had way too much sun and her hair is dyed maroon) looks at me and gives me a lollipop!  She’s concerned about me and my travels…maybe this lollipop is my good luck charm?  I haven’t eaten it yet (it’s June 14^th right now) since me and sugar don’t get along so well.  I will keep it until I get back then. 

8:00 pm:

I’m going to go next door and see what this hub-bub is all aboot.

AHHHHH!!!  Ok, so this place is crazy!  It has slot machines, a shooting game with zombies, more slot machines and SO many dead animal heads on the walls that it’s hard to differentiate the wall from animal carcass at points.  Families seem to love this place and they also love to bring their screaming children with them who enjoy running around willy-nilly!!  AHHHHHH!!!  Oh!  Hey!  I just used “hub-bub” and “willy-nilly”!  Morning!

This family sits next to me on the elevated stools and bar table and starts eating.  And eating. And eating.  I don’t really understand how they could possibly shove so much frackin’ food in their faces and still be able to walk!  AND THEN!  They get 15 or so to-go containers filled with food!!!  Where are they taking all of this fooooooood???!!!  Why am I sitting here drinking a whiskey when I could be scavenging off of their plates??  I could totally fit in-between a couple of them and just snatch bits off of their plates.  They wouldn’t even notice! 

All of the wait staff pretty much adopted me (I was there for an hour) so I had to tell my story over and over again.  And then!  Two older gentlemen who are the entertainment for the main dining area walk by me, stop, look at me, say “well, hey there pretty lady” and then proceed to serenade me!!!  Awwwwwwwww!!  And wow.  I don’t get embarrassed too easily, but when you’re sitting at a table by yourself and are being sung to by two cowboys and the bar area is packed…yea…that can be a bit disconcerting!  BUT!  I loved it!  So thank you for Amarillo by Morning.

9:00 pm:

Tired!  I so need to sleep!

And then there is this clicking noise coming from the bedside table, or the floor, or someplace near me…mechanical clicking and constant, not like huge creepy insect clicking.  Meh.  You know me.  I can sleep through a fire alarm so I can totally fall to sleep with this weird clicking noise…

WHAT IS IT??!!!