03/28/13

Monday evening I walked into LFK to see my favorite person in the world and on my way in, there was a guy standing at the door.  Me being who I am, looked at him and said, “don’t chu dare card me!” with a smile and laugh of course!  He glanced at me, then did a retake and told me he wouldn’t dare.  I laughed just as he was asking me if I remembered him…

First of all, I hate that.  I see HUNDREDS of people err’day and unless you make an impression on me, Imma not gonna remember you…so I said no.

He then told me he was in the other night with his…………wait for it………Irish friend.  Yea.  That guy.  And all of a sudden he’s Irish now??!  Whassa happening??!! 

I looked at him again and…”Ah, yes.  Gabriel.”  (evil smirk)  Ps.  Why do my powers of setting people on fire with my mind not work??!!  BAH!

Gabriel:  “Hey!  How’s it going?”

Me:  “Oh.  Just fine.” (leaning way in to whisper in his ear)  “Tell your friend if he touches me again he’s going to lose an arm.”

Gabriel:  (eyes wide) “What??  Oh.  That.  Yea, he gets drunk.”

Me:  (looking straight into his eyes while pausing for an uncomfortable moment) “I don’t give a sh*t.  Tell him he should be careful now…very careful.  OK!  BYE!!!!!”

And then I walked away.

And I know I’m going on and on about this guy, but words are my pistol right now…and you don’t want me to own a gun, so this is the only way I can get it out of my system.

Last night the Irish/Scottish dude came into the other place I work.  Yep.  Sober.  With his girlfriend of FOUR YEARS.  And then he sat at the bar…Yea, I was short with him, got him and his girl a drink and proceeded to ignore them (while shaking because the adrenaline was pumping again).  This guy decided he wanted to ask my name…ok then…Amber.  What’s your’s?  Tom.  Come ‘ere, Tom.  Reach over this bar and shake my hand.  Yea.  Remember that grip?  That hurt your wrist tendon last time didn’t it?

So then, him and his girlfriend start fighting…in Spanish…

Of course, I saunter over a couple of times to make sure everything’s ok, because even if it is in a language I don’t know, he’s yelling at her and calling her naughty words (because we all know those!!!).

The third time I walk over to check out the situation his girlfriend says she just wants to smack him on the face.  HA!  And what do I reply??  OH!  Good!  You do that side, I’ll hit him on the right side of his face!!!  YAAAAAAAYY!!!  And she laughs and says, “no really!” and I tell her, “yea, I know.  Trust me on this one.”  (wink)

Obviously, he gets fed up fighting (Pssssst…I walked away.  I didn’t hit him, but it was oh so tempting) and decides to walk.  OH NO, buddy.  Not on my watch.  So, when he is almost at the door I holler out his name and tell him he needs to settle his tab.  This dude pauses and actually THINKS about leaving until he realizes that everyone at the bar is staring at him.  Yea.  Pay your tab, jerk-face.

He comes back to the bar.  Of course, my other favorite person in the world is standing beside me at that point, which is good because if he hadn’t been, Tom prolly would have had a broken bottle in his throat-neck.

Tom decides that he hates all of us and starts bad mouthing us, so my best fwend tells him to forget his tab and never come back, but Tom wants to pay…and now his girlfriend wants him to pay for hers too.  Come ON now!  He’s mad enough already.  And I’m pissed that he’s calling us names, and this guy next to me…yea, it would be really wise of you, Tom NOT to tell him to shut up.  You don’t quite understand what he is capable of, especially when he’s being protective.  Srsly.

This is the point when energy is at it’s most beautiful.  I reached out as Tom and my best friend were exchanging words, laid my hand on his arm, turned to Tom, received payment, let go to get Tom his change, turned back, placed my hand back on my best friend’s arm, gave Tom his change, and said “Goodbye.”

Without this act of energy exchange there would have been an issue…a serious issue…but because of this small gesture, we both were grounded.  I did it for me so I would be concentrating on my hand being some other place than inside Tom’s chest and I did it for my best friend so he would feel something other than anger.  PANDA!

And then Tom left…after he called us all farmers (??) (I checked ma’ armpit smell to make sure I didn’t smell like manure…I didn’t) and decided to flip us all off…yea, including ALL of the customers.  And because humans are so amazing, they all laughed and waved goodbye to him (with a few middle fingers used as a wave). 

So, that’s the last of Tom, at least for now.

Oh.  And he moved here from Spain to be with his girlfriend…so now?  He’s Spanish.  Alt-so, err’one knows who you are now dude.  Mission accomplished.