05/28/11

9:30 am:

UP! UP! UP!  We gots ta’ get some wheels to get (git?) to Loretta!!!  Starbucks for some real gooooood coffee and a blueberry scone.  The one thing I may miss the most about Maine (other than the humans) is it’s abundance of coffee shops, oh and food stuffs I can eat…I need some greens, dammit!!! 

11:30 am:

Hyundai dealership (yea, they were surprised to see us!).  And let me tell ya’!  Tennessee dealership dudes are the nicest people you will ever meet!  We were introduced to everyone there and they hung out with us the whole time!!  WOW!  I’m supposed to send a postcard to them during my travels.  (heart)  We also met this young bloke who was wearing camo and looked exactly like Tom Cruise!  He even had aviator shades and a dog head thing that you usually wear with a whole costume (um…)…when he was leaving; he walked up to me and said, “So, I’m going now.  I just wanted to let you know” and then stood there awkwardly.  What does a unicorn do?  She gets real excited and asks if she can take a picture of him!  YAY!  He was into it!

So, I buy a 2004 Honda Element.  Hold back tears as we clean out Jezebel…still holding back tears.  It’s for the best though!  I would be totally stressed the whole trip if still had her. 

3:00 pm:

DONE!  Finally!!  STARVING!!!!!!!!!

Barb and I go to this restaurant and EAT!  Fish & chips.  Yes, I’m a vegetarian, but sometimes one just has to break down and try and get some good stuffs in ya’ especially when you can’t find anything that will sustain your body so well in the South.

Oh…and then we both got sick.  Tssssssssss. 

7:30 pm:

Pull into Loretta Lynn’s ranch!  The show starts at 8:00 pm.  That was close!  I spoke with Melinda and she told me to come back the next day so that she could refund me the whole amount for our campsite.  I had reserved a full hookup site for us so we could hang on the ranch all day…that’s hard to do in an Element!  I love Melinda!  We gots us some Loretta Lynn beer cozies (they’re denim), one beer each to put into our new cozies, and settled into our seats—center stage, ninth row, right smack in the middle!  It twas the most amazing show EVAH!!!!!  Loretta had had knee surgery so she had to sit the whole time, but she came out and sang for us.  You could tell she was in pain sometimes, but damn.  That woman is AMAZING!

9:00 pm:

Off to town to check into the Knights Inn…they supposedly had a discount running for that night because of the show.  I don’t know what kind of discount it was since it cost us $90 for the room, but meh.  Oh, and it was FILTHY!  I took pictures, but they make me sick, so I will post them after the shock has worn off.  GROSS! 

Barb and I then settled on the bed to plot out Sunday!!! 

Oh, and the only radio station that came in was a religious one.  Hurricane Mills.

05/27/11

Woke up in the Wal Mart parking lot…and getting down from that bed was um…difficult!  Some major ballerina moves were involved and I did NOT get hurt!  Wow!

A crow came to see me this morning.  And funny that, ravens have been with me ever since.  They’re big.  Bada Boom Big. 

We decide we need a couple things so how convenient is it that Wal Mahts is right there!  Cooler is in order since I don’t want to run the propane to power the fridge.  One that fits into the fridge would be awesome.  And we need some Fabreeze.  For the van and yea, for me.  I told Barb she could secretly spritz me while I was sleepin’.  So we walk into the Wal Mart…and now Henderson, North Carolina has experienced the Amber & Barb amazingness.  I passed by a 70 year old woman and smiled at her (that’s what I do) and she looked up, smiled back and said “How ya’ doin’, baby?”  WHA??!!!  Aaahahahahaha!  I heart North Carolina!

Atlantic Bread Company for REAL coffee and “bagels” which Barb termed “breakfast dumplin’s”, ‘cause if those were bagels I’m frightened as to what actual bread is! 

10:30 am:

On the road towards Nashville…after a text from mama being concerned because we were in one spot for too long (heart). 

So, we went up the mountain the night before, right?  At 3370’ in elevation we then needed to go down the mountain.  And going down weren’t no good at all!  All of a sudden Barb looked at me and said “smell something?”, I looked at her and said “yea, but I was trying to ignore it and pretend it’s the truck in front of us”.  So Barb rolls down her window and looks back at me and says…yea, that’s us.  CRAP!  WHA??!!  It smells like burning rubber!  Now what??! 

1:20 pm

Pulled over to the shoulder, pop the hood, look in—nothing.  I walk to the passenger side of the van and witness frickin’ SMOKE coming out from around the wheel well.  Aweshum.  No.  Not awesome at ALL!  I grab the extinguisher just in case since I have TWO full gas tanks on this beast and my bag with wallet and phone (just in case).  Barb gets her water ready…The smoke starts to clear, Barb gets in the van to change out of her dress and into jeans, and I crawl under the car to check it out.  Um…the breaks were basically so hot that they were melting away the rough layer on the pad and gooshy hot black stuffs was all over the inside off the break shaft.  YAY!  So I shimmy out and give her the news.  We call Matt to see if he can help us (break fluid is still full thank goodness) and I drove it just about 4 feet to make sure I still had breaks.

We get out the Atlas to see if we can tell if there is any more mountain…and the first person who can read the terrain of a mountain on an atlas gets a prize!!!  Luckily, I’m the unicorn and sometimes just make up happy stuff for the hell of it.  I told her we only had a wee bit more to go and then we were out of the mountains…the Appalachian Mountains… (she believed me and thank goodness it was actually true!!)Matt told us to keep it in low gear and just pump the breaks in order to get air onto them.  What’s weird is that I was pumping the breaks to begin with, so I have NO idea why they…well…got stupid on us!

3:00 pm:

We got down the mountain!  YAY! And entered Tennessee, which is officially my mostest favorite state so far!!!  It’s gorgeous, the people are AMAZING, and it’s hot!  Barb made us sandwiches in the van (while I was drving…shhhhhh) which consisted of Tofurky, cheesesticks, mayo, and mustard on Lavish bread with a side of Pirate Booty!  (Eat)

7:00 pm:

And you thought Amber could only have one scare per day after what she dealt with on the first day?   TSSSSSSSS…she’s WAY stronger than that and very much appreciates being tested.  Consistently.  No really…….especially car stuffs!  That’s awesome.

We stop for gas (yet again) in Cookeville, TN…and yes.  We know the name of this town, it will be with us for the rest of eternity.

I decide that I should check my fluids.  Well, not MY fluids that would be weird!  The van’s fluids.  Everything looks good (well almost everything).  I turn on her engine to check the transmission fluid (you have to have it running to check transmission fluid FYI) pull the stick and look at…nothing…aw man.  WHA?   Dip again, nothing.  I shut the van off, and shimmy under her again to spy a puddle of transmission fluid on the ground and a ton splooged all over the under carriage.  YAY!  YAYAYAYAYAY!  Barb gets out to check it, calls Matt again (sorry Matt!!) I go in to see if there is a garage around that we can bring her to.  There’s one down the way.  Jasper’s.  I then ask if there are used car dealerships around anywhere.  The dude says yes, they’re all up and down this road as you drive into town.

See, this is what the 4^th bad thing that’s happened?  I’m only in Tennessee!  I have to get to Alaska and I won’t have Barb there with me the whole time to help!!  AH! 

Jasper’s can’t fix it until Tuesday—we have to be at Loretta Lynn’s ranch in Hurricane Mills TOMORROW!!  I ask him if he wants to buy it offa me, but his wife is there…he says no.

Barb and I drive around all of Cookeville and end up in the seedy scary part looking for a used car or truck or van for me.  I pull over and call the Jeep dealer, they’re closed.  I call the Ford dealer, man picks up and lets me know he will let the sales team know to call me tomorrow…he ends the conversation with an “I ‘preciate you”.  <3  Drove to the convenience store to get some beer, ‘cause well…I needed something.  And we met 3 of the nicest young men ever!  AND!!  We got to inspire them to go on a roadtrip (they unfortunately didn’t want to buy Jezebel off of me)!  We asked where we could get whiskey and they directed us toward what “may or may not be a liquor store”.  Cookeville has a law that a liquor store can’t be within 100’ of a church and Cookeville has got a lot of churches!!  As we were driving toward what may or may not be a liquor store, I pull into the Hyundai dealership (‘cause I saw a red Jeep Wrangler…).  Here is where we met the infamous C. Bass (Christopher Bass) who told me that they were closed, but they were just hanging out.  I tell him my situation, he tells me the price on a couple of the cars, I tell him I may be back in the morning, then he gives us information on where to buy whiskey and what hotel to stay in .  Aw, thank goodness!!! 

We get ze’ whiskey, check into the Red Roof Inn, play some Thin Lizzy, swim, and have a dinner of almost rotten avocado & crackers (gross!!!!) and then…SLEEP!!!!!

Stupidest day evah.  Thank you Barb for being strong! 

05/26/11

UP!!!  Well…I didn’t sleep much…napped?  It’s 4:30 am.  I have ½ hour to get ready and be on the road by 5 am…which you would think would be fairly simple in a RV all by yourself right?  I mean the shower doesn’t work everything is within 5 feet of you, you don’t even really need to move, just reach out and grab it.  Oh, but I’m a bit tall so every other move after a few hours of sleep consists of bashin’ ma’ head on everything.  Owie.

5:00 am:

On my way to Raligh, Virginia (airport) to pick up the other Amazon goddess who will be accompanying me for about a week!!  YAY!!!  First thing any normal human needs at 5am with possibly 2 ½-3 hours of sleep is coffee, right?  Starbucks is just across the street!  And……..it’s closed.  Ok, I’ll keep driving.  This water is just not cuttin’ it though.  OH!  Gas station (after ½ hour of driving), perfect!  I walk in all excited and the dude looks up and says: it’s not ready yet.  Someone unplugged it and I didn’t notice until just now.  No coffee.  REALLY??!!  You didn’t notice that there was no coffee brewing??!!  BAH!!  Ok.  OH!  Gas station!  At this point it’s just a thing I have set my mind on.  It’s been 2 hours.  I don’t even really need it, but I want it because I got up needing it.  But see, it was meant to be because this gas station on a back road somewhere in Virginia is where I first experience the true Southern culture.

I walk in and the woman behind the counter looks up from talking with her friend on the customer side of the counter and says to me, “Mornin’ there, honey.”  AH!  Love!!!  I get my coffee and pay for it.  She ends EVERY sentence she says to me with hon or honey and there were like 4 more sentences!!  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!  Starbucks wouldn’t have done that…Starbucks coffee would have been better, but there would have been something missing.  “Have a good ‘un, hon, be careful out there.”  I love Virginia!

8:45 am:

Arrive at airport!!

Now if we can just side step for a moment.  To get from where I was to Raligh, VA should take about 2 ish hours according to Google and according to normal vehicles.  It took me almost 4…yea.  Just think on that one now.  Ok!  Enough!  Get back to readin’!  GO!

So, I have this van right?  Barb doesn’t get in until 10:15, so I need to find an outdoor parking area to keep this beast since I’m preeeeeeety  sure she is not gonna fit into a covered lot!  And the movie Airplane still messes me up as to whether I can park in the white or yellow zone.  So I’m following the parking signs…cautiously…I know about airport parking!  They TRAP ya’!  I cannot get trapped with Jezebel.  Ah there, ahead are those hangy thingys that they use sometimes with the maximum height restriction on them…oh and thank god Raligh Airport is slow!!!  Otherwise I would have been makin’ a whole lot of people mad!  So, this here hangy thingy states that the max height is 9’-0”.  Now I know that Jezebel is under 12’-5” ‘cause of the oil change station and I am fairly certain that she is more than 9’-0”, but how would I know??!!  I looked through all my books on her before I left and there is NOTHING printed about that!  So…um…yea, I went under it…and um……….yep.  She’s taller than 9’-0”.  WAAAAHAHAHAHA!  I’m assuming that’s what that banging noise is on the roof. Great.  Luckily, they give you an escape route, which I took immediately.  I loop around and pull into the Avis rental car place (it’s an open lot, phew), and ask if I can just leave my van there while I wait for my friend at the airport.  The woman behind the counter gave me this sour what chu talkin’ ‘bout girl look and directed me to the Airport Authority Parking area because “they have so much parking over there it’s not even funny”…like she was jealous of the amount of parking spaces they have?  Hmmmmmm…  So I loop BACK around again (avoiding the 9’ parking area like a pro at this point), pull into the lot, park Jezebel in the furthest space, and walk into the building.

The gentleman at the counter (after telling him what I want to do) said this is a cellphone lot.  I give him a blank stare.  He tells me again.  Um…yea…I don’t know what that means, sorry.  A cellphone lot is a place that you can park and wait and have the person call you on your cellphone when they get in so you don’t have to pay for parking!  Oooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!  Tssssss.  I dunno!!!!  Sheesh!  That sounds great!

10:15 am:

BARB!!!  HI ! HI! HI!  And she brings with her coffee cake (from Becca) and BOURSIN (the girl panda bear)!!!!!!!  BARB!!!!!

12:00 pm:

Arrive at South of the Border in South Carolina!  (no hills, twists & turns, etc)

Hung out at this crazy place—they have a “Hats from the World” shop that includes, but is not limited to a kitty cat hat, a Dr. Suess hat, a Pirate hat…so um, what is this world?  Did I miss something?  It’s probably a good thing I’m on this roadtrip because now I will be able to visit the lost city of kitten people!!!! 

Oh and they have a reptile area.  Which is sad.  They should stick to the sculptures of animals…I’m not gonna go into it.  Aw, great.  Now I’m sad.  Dammit!!!

Time unknown:

Driving into the mountain areas and around 8 pm I decide that I want to pull over at the next gas station in order to watch the storm and play in it!  So we pull into what is called the “Hot Spot”.  It’s a store in the South that carries EVERYTHING and they are specifically designed for RV people!  We park on a little hill and sit inside the van, and then I get out to take some photos since the sky is AH-mazing!!!!  And GOOOOSH!  Lightening streams horizontally across the sky, the wind picks up (enough to rock the van)—gosh I wish I could put sound effects into this!!!— and we decide that it just might be a good idea to go near the building and maybe under some cover.  So we pull in and the rain just starts POURING in sheets!!!  From the sky!!!  And there’s huge lightening and thunder and it’s AWESHUM!  Barb and I decide to hang out in the back of the van on the couch with the doors open and listen to music on her phone in order to pass the time.  –love-  And lemme tell ya’.  Them there truckers ain’t never seen the likes of Barb and I before.  Whoa. 

Time unknown:

Finally the rain stops and we head out to the nearest Wal Mart!  Wheeeeeeeeee…oh and lookie here.  That there is a real gosh darn mountain with warning signs for trucks.  Mmm hmmm.  35 mph the whole way up.  UGH! 

9:45 pm:

Wal Mart!  Horray!!!! 

So now that we are settled we gonna hang out on the couch again with bears and whiskey and talk until one of us collapses (oh, that’s me)!!! 

Total driving time for 5/26=approximately 14 hours…

05/25/11

QUARRY QUARRY QUARRY QUARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don’t even care if anything else happened this day and I don’t remember.  I got my quarry.  <3

Kathi remembered how to get to it!  We walk through the briars and brambles and other such overgrowth to the road that leads in…hey…why is there a road ½ way back???!!  BAH!  And we walk up to it.  7’ tall chain link fence with barbed wire (cue: Pamela Anderson) at the top.  Really??!!  Is that necessary??!!  OH!  But it is!!!!  You see, ‘cause they DIDN’T fill it in!!!!!  It’s still full of gorgeous water!!!!  They just fenced in the ENTIRE quarry!!!  That must have cost a pretty penny (as they say)!!  So here I am taking photos through the fence trying to make it look like there is no fence…I decide that I am actually gonna walk the entire circumference (how you like that there fancy word, huh?) of the quarry and see if I can get in at all.  We come to the gate and yea, I’m fairly thin but I ain’t no 3 inches thin.  That’s not gonna work.  We see that someone(s) has obviously jumped the fence since the barbed wire is all mushed down in a couple places.  Ok, so option #1:  Take off jeans, toss over barbed wire, climb fence, swim, climb fence, try and salvage jeans.

Walking a bit more I see our spot.  It’s the only place we used to swim and it looks exactly the same…taking photos (through the fence again) and I back up and nearly pee ma’ pants!  Wait.  Maybe I did pee ma’ pants!  There’s a HOLE in the fence!!!  RIGHT THERE!!!!  Big enough for me and Kathi and Remy (Kathi’s dog…I’m sharing a bed with her, ‘member?) to climb through.  Hanging out in the quarry for an hour and we didn’t bring our swimsuits because everyone said it was filled in.  (sigh).  It’s not though.  Sssshhhhhhhh!!!!  And there are these huge fish in there!!  I may take a detour on the way home and actually swim in it!

We then go to an old church and graveyard in Salem, PA.  13 women were killed and buried here during, yea, you guessed it the early 1700’s.  They didn’t mark their graves ‘cause that’s what you did back then when you decide to murder innocent women that were different.  It’s quiet there and very pretty (and we didn’t get any ticks!).

Back to Shippensburg to have lunch with Danny Stein!  I don’t know this guy, but we became friends on the internets ‘cause he knew all the people I knew so it seemed like the proper choice.  He’s awesome.  We went to Kathy’s Diner to get food stuffs (mmmmmmm!!) and as we were paying for our lunch the woman at the counter looked up at me and said “are you paying for your dad’s food too?”  Oh gosh, lady!!  AAAHAHAHAHAHA!  Danny’s younger than me!!!  And how would it be possible that he was my dad unless he and Kathi adopted an Amazon baby??!!  Whoop!!!!!  We went back to Kathi’s house and hang out for a bit (on the patio again) while Danny pouted about what happened.

4:00 pm:

Packed up Jezebel with crazy butterflies in ma’ stomach.  It’s very nerve wracking driving a big van that goes maybe 55 on the interstate! 

5:10 pm:

AWAY!  Heading toward Raleigh, NC to pick up Barb, but before I left I swung by the Solder farm to see it…and instead of a massive field behind it there is a gigantic Volvo construction plant.  Gross.  Meh.  Things change…humans supposedly progress…

Highway driving and I pass my first speed limit sign—70 MPH!!  Aw, crap!  Really??!!  I can barely clock 60 in this beast and forget it if there is any sort of incline!!!  Needless to say, my hazard lights got a workout!
Passed over the Mason Dixon Line at 5:55!!!  YAY!

11:20 pm:

After driving on this crazy mountain thing in the dark crazy curvy tiny road I finally find a Wal Mart in Lynchburg, VA (supposedly 4 hours from Shippensburg…it took me 6, blech!).  Pulled in to the parking lot which looks to be surrounded by a retaining wall 20 feet high!  Park.  But the parking lot is sloped a bit, but Iza tired panda, so I’m gonna deal with it!  “Check in” so that all my loves know where I am.  I noticed there were cars on the other side of the lot when I pulled in.  I did not notice they were blasting gangsta rap and having a tailgate party.  OH!  Now there just gonna zoom about the parking lot for the hell of it.  Great!  No really!  That’s fine!  That won’t bother me one bit!  GAH!  Ok, out.  I drive another ½ hour to another Wal-Mart.  Annnnnd!  There is a Semi truck and another conversion van parked there.  Sleeping company!  Safe!  1^st night alone in the van in a strange place so I need so sleeping help…where’s ma’ whiskey??!!  And.  Sleep (after “washing” my face with a wet wipe).

05/24/11

Oh.  Gosh.  Kathi.  I did not inform her of the Amber Pants secret of switching to beer after 11 pm or switching to cranberry and ginger ale after midnight.  Whoop.  So I gots no Kathi all day (she basically slept) but that’s fine!  I needed quiet time.  I read a, ehem, graphic novel and wrote stuff while sitting outside on the patio ‘cause it was so warm!  Yea, I’m trying to rub it in at this point…  Awesome.

2:30 pm:

In the afternoon I decided I needed to walk the Shippensburg streets to the High School and back.  Oh!  Not like “walk the streets, walk the streets”, but just walk.  Come on now!  My mom is reading this!  Sheesh!!!!  I change out of my skirt into some jeans and boots, just to try and make the walk a wee bit more enjoyable.  Hotter, but more enjoyable somehow.  It didn’t work.  Nope.  After walking maybe 2 miles (there and back) there was this count…yea, I counted:

12 honks

5 yells/hollahs

And I lost track of the slamming on breaks and turning heads…

Why?  You didn’t like me then, so why is it that you need to get all testosterone on me now??!!!  I should have just left my skirt on.  At least then I would be cooler!!!  BAH!!!  C’mon!  I do, however love your trucks.  I blame my jacked up old truck obsession on YOU Shippensburg.  And that is ohhhhhhhkay (noddin’ ma’ head like yea).

My favorite was this:

Walking the back way away from the cemetery (through the yards…shhhh!), as I passed 1 particular house a gentleman opened his door to get his mail and exclaimed (no, really, he “exclaimed”) “MY!  Now ain’t you a tall glass of ice tea!”.

‘Member when that happened? 

To make that episode of angry Amber allllll better, I got to talk with Andrew about the pedigree of his dog (Rocky)…the one Imma gonna steal…shhhhhhhhh!!!  He has a piece of paper that is about 3’ long with the ancestry of his dog on it!!!!!  WHA??!!  I don’t even have that and I’m a human! 

3:45 pm

OMG.  Kathi is still in bed!  DOH! 

Josh was an awesome friend and picked me up to get my van.  Of course when I went around one corner after picking up Jezebel, stuff…liquid stuff…spilled out from somewhere…tsssssss.  GAH!  Give me a break!!!  I got Jezebel home.  She smelled like frickin’ propane, but I figured it was because she just had her tank filled.  Yea.  Just ignore it Amber.  Make up stuff as you go along.  Oh…and don’t smoke while driving or if you’re anywhere near the van, k? 

6:30 pm:

Kathi’s done with her client (she’s a massage therapist and REALLY good at what she does!) and…yea, she’s starving!!!  ‘Cause it’s 6:30 see and she somehow got onto the Amber diet of nothing until you feel like you’re gonna pass out (EAT!).  Anyway, have you ever had portabella mushroom sandwiches grilled on an actual grill with lettuce from your own garden on big ol’ bulky rolls??!!  No????  Well, you should go see Kathi then ‘cause WHOA!  I’ve never tasted anything so amazingly delicious.  We’ll all take a roadtrip to Shippensburg when I get back just to get another sammmmich!  Do you like it that ½ of my blog is about what I ate?  Yea?  Wwwaaaahahahahaha!  My job was to get chips.  See, I failed miserably the first time (with the pizza).  Kathi wanted salt & vinegar chips, so I offered to walk to the store to get some.  Oh, and walking to the store is what a crazy person does I guess, since it’s a whole um…ONE block from her house!!  Tssssssssss.  I bought sour cream & onion chips that night.  I just snuck that in there.  I’m still embarrassed about it.  It was a green bag, OK??!!  It was cheaper than the other green bag of chips!!  I don’t buy chips that often from a convenience store!!!  Gimmie a break!  AHHHHHHH!!!  Ok, so this night I did it correctly.  Salt and vinegar.  Did I mention that they don’t make salt & vinegar in a ripple chip?  Um…they do make sour cream & onion in a ripple chip though.  (head in hands in shame).

9:00 pm:

Amber needs to dance or go someplace (ants in pants)!!!  So Kathi, Josh, Andrew, and I all go back to Orky’s.  Ah, but see, when you have 2 brothers playing pool and you unwittingly think that you may be able to team up and have fun, well, you’re totally wrong.  Brothers are competitive.  And those particular brothers are actually good at pool.  So, to pass the time, Kathi and I get our own table, play songs on the juke box again and then loose our table (welllllll…we weren’t paying attention!).

So we start teams with Andrew and Josh.  And everything is fine and fun.  You see where this is going, right?  It ain’t too bad, but all of a sudden I realize that I gots boys again.  The real kind, who will keep you protected and drive away the scum. (heart).  I don’t even know them that well, and they’re on it!  Kathi and I don’t have to deal with a single incident allllllllll night.  (sigh).  Damn that was nice. 

11:30 pm:

City walk home!  All 4 of us.  I could give a crap what Shippensburg thinks at this point.  You’ll have your stories to tell to those who could not witness it.  HA! 

Home!  And Trailer Park Boys on the couch snuggled up with a dog!!!  Someone once told me that I really needed to see this show because it reminded them of me…um…well…I guess I’ll take that as a compliment?  I totally laughed my ass off.  To counter watching Trailer Park Boys, I will need to watch Planet Earth and Stephen Hawkins for approximately 6 hours.

12:00

BED!  GO!  Sleepy!

05/23/11

Shippensburg, PA—Good Mornin’!

Kathi made me breakfast.  Supposedly it’s the most important meal of the day and I need to eat protein RIGHT when I get up.  I thought my diet of coffee, cigarettes and a breakfast bar were enough, but nooooooooo, I gots to eat real food stuffs.  (sigh).  Of course breakfast was amazing (eggs with spinach and mushrooms and feta).  I decide to call Joe Fittry (the RV guy).  I had called him before I left Maine to see if he could check out my systems in the van while I was in PA…since, you know…I forgot when my appointment was in Maine (I’m still blaming that one on them though, I’m not THAT out of it yet!).  Joe tells me to drop it off and he’ll try and take a look at the propane system at least (the valve is frozen…have I already told you about this?  Hmmmm).  Anyway, I way good and that I’ll drop it off sometime today!  Unicorned another human with my charm  ;)  Kathi has to babysit Carter (Josh’s son) for about 4 hours, so we drive out and drop of Jezebel at Joe Fittry’s shop then drive to Josh’s house to hang with Carter.  He has this water thingy that he thinks is AMAZING!  Josh’s landlords have deer.  Fenced in.  They harvest the urine.  ‘Nough said.  There ARE wild bunnies in Pennsylvania though!!!  WHA??!!  Yea!  They hop aboot and eat stuff and they are frickin’ adorable!  I would like one please!!  Joe Fittry calls me at 3:35 with the news that my propane tank is fixed and full of propane!  YAY!  We can’t pick up Jezebel until the next day, but now I know I can cook!! 

5:20 pm:

Return to Kathi’s house where I proceed to plot on what the best way is to steal Rocky.  See now, Rocky is a purebred Bluetick Hound (Night Warrior clan) and GORGEOUS.  I wants him.  But he is Andrew’s…(sigh).  Kathi distracts me from said dog stealing with pizza, which worked for a few moments.  Actually, I shoved 4 pieces of pie in ma’ face like a frat boy who had just realized he hasn’t eaten anything in 30 minutes!  GIMMIE!  Then I hooped in the backyard and taught Josh how to…boys hoopin’?  Yea.  They can.  And he did a great job! 

9:00 pm:

Since I was of age now we decide to go to Orky’s which is the local bar in Shippensburg.  Everyone’s been there and everyone goes there.  AND they have PBR!  Thank goodness!!  Kathi and I play a mean game of pool…well…we have fun anyway!  Tsssssss.  Shut it.  We don’t need to know no rules!  Solids, stripy ones, black ball is last, hit other balls with white ball.  See?  Easy! 

They have an amazing juke box (cue: Juke Box Hero):  Flo-Rida, Lady Gaga, Blink 182, Journey, G N’ R, AC/DC.  What more could one ask for??!!  So yea, if you know me, you know that I was a one woman dance machine while playing pool…someone should have warned the locals.  So here we are having a splendid time dancin’ and poolin’, when this dude walks up smirkin’.  I look over and say “hey” (statement/question, ‘cause I recognize him).  He says “Hey.  How you doin’ Amber Dorcus?”.  WHA??!!!  Really??!!  Holy crap.  Dude I went to High School with you in 1991!!  I was 17!!!!  That is totally unfair that you know my first AND last name.  So we do introductions and it’s Dan…who, well…weren’t so nice to me in High School, but hey, Imma Unicorn now.  I don’t care!  We had a nice talk afterwards.  I told him he needed to get outta Dodge (aka Shippensburg).  He will…someday.  Seed has been planted. 

1:30 am:

Walkin’ home from Orky’s with Kathi.  I guess it’s ok to leave your car at the local bar until the morning (or afternoon), what a novel idea!  I told Kathi about “city walk” which I then forced upon her because she was worried walking arm and arm with me in a small town.  PHHHHHSSSSSSSSS.  What ever.  It’s ME!  They obviously all know me, so if they question you, just blame it on the crazy girl from up North!  Kathi unfortunately, had well vodka at Orky’s which led to a very bad next day.  L

05/22/11

Woke up in Lansdale, Pennsylvania with Karen and Kathi around 11 am…we somehow stayed awake until 3 am that mornin’.  WHA??!  Karen made us an AMAZING breakfast of scrambled eggs with cheese, homefries, and banana bread (like actual bread, not the cake bread stuff) and it was DELICIOUS!  (Eat).  We decided to go shopping at this mall like area that’s set up like it’s own town which was weird…we also discovered that the folk who have cash monies shop here and they all dress so very badly.  Sweat pants and baggy t-shirt??!  Really lady?  Put yer pants on!  Sheesh!  Karen’s mum and dad dropped off Loren (Karen’s daughter, who’s frackin’ amazing) and I got my Loren crush of the day!!  YAY!!  I somehow managed to talk her into giving me her aqua braid hairclip thing for the day which was aweshum since we then matched!  Ah, the small things in life that make me so very happy!!  Dinner?  YAY!  Molly Maguire’s Irish Pub where I had the BEST gosh-darn veggie burger I’ve ever had.  EVER!!!    After we got back to Karen’s house Loren and I hooped in the backyard together!  K, so I’m 36 and Loren, who’s 8(?) has now adopted me as her best friend.  How does this happen??  We all then went and played Wii So You Think You Can Dance…ummmmmm…yea.  I can dance, right?  Pretty well.  Yea?  Why the hell was I sweatin’ my toosh off after just one song??!!  And what the heck are these dance moves that I’m supposed to be doing to get points??!!  AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!  Loren beat me 2 outta 3 times.  (snarf)  Yea she did.  I ain’t evah playin’ that stupid game again!  Tsssssssssssss.

Kathi and I take off…well, I say take off but it was rather a slow creep in Jezebel…headed towards Shippensburg.  (heart)  Now, I haven’t been to Shippensburg since 1992 (that’s when I left there to come to Maine) and wow…not much has changed, ‘cept they gots themselves a Wal-Mahts now. 

10:00 pm:

Arrive in Shippensburg, PA, get out of Jezebel, grab my stuff, and head into Kathi’s home.  Kathi let me know that I could sleep on Remy’s bed, which is her dog, which, yea…I was trying to figure out how I was going to share a dog bed with a dog…and why Kathi was offering said bed to me…(pout).  OH!  It’s a daybed!  Remy just jumps up on it and has claimed it for her own!  AAAHHHHHH!!  Ok, then.  I meet her roommate Andrew and his dog Rocky (who I am still plotting to steal from him), head back out to the van to get my bottle of wine, walk around the front of the house to see what it looks like and BAM!  Townie honk.  REALLY??!!  I haven’t even been here for more than 15 minutes.  GAH!  That should have given me the clue though…

10:30 pm:

Drinks on Kathi’s patio with Andrew until 1am(ish).  And yes, it’s warm enough there to do that and not have to go in and grab a sweatshirt.  (heart).