So…uhmmm…as some of you know, I was in a relationship for
10(ish?) years with my best friend.
We were handfasted on October 9th, 2009, and then went our
separate ways in January 2012. I’m
really bad with dates and time spans, so if any of the above is off, well just
blame it on the fact that I have never lived in the same place for more than 4
years…
This is deeply personal and you may feel uncomfortable
reading it, so I completely understand if you can’t get through all of it, but
I feel as if I need to tell you some things. OH!
Wait!!! They’re not bad
things!! Don’t worry! HEY! Come back!!
Keep reading!!
I need to tell you stuffs. About humans and relationships…because Imma EXPERT! (snarf). Perhaps it’s because this is the first year I will be “alone”
on my birthday, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas…but whatever. I can do this, because I still have
that best friend.
And because I’m a bit obsessive compulsive, I will now
proceed to form this blog post into an outline…ta-da!!! …A rambling, can we get back to the
point, outline. (SURPRISE!!)
1.
NEVER stop holding hands. EVER. I mean it.
NEVER. And the best time to
hold hands is when the other person isn’t expecting it. You’re getting a cup of coffee? You just woke up? I’m gonna walk over and hold your hand
for a split second and look into your eyes. BAM. Ok. Done. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been hanging out with the person
for 1 week or 30 years, you should never stop. Humans crave contact and if you surprise them with it, you
will continue to receive it.
This also includes walking down the street
arm in arm, putting your hand on their thigh while you sit next to each other,
holding their arm gently while standing next to each other, and doing creepy
face touch randomly (some of you know what this is…some don’t, but trust me,
it’s awesome!).
While we’re on the subject of contact,
never stop hugging. Real
hugging. Not some “I have to make
sure there’s room for air movement between our bodies because I’m uncomfortable”
hug. Not some weak armed “I don’t
want to do this” hug. Not some
“I’m going to pat you on the back when I feel that this hug is lasting too long
and I feel awkward” hug: a full blown “I haven’t seen you in SO LONG” hug (even
if it’s been an hour). Seriously. If you’re not comfortable with hugging,
then…well, just the thought made me extremely sad, so I don’t wanna talk about
it anymore.
Also, I am not a huge fan of PDA. Seeing people all smooshy face with
each other makes me feel weird…I know, right?! It’s a bit contradictory to what I’m telling you, but
there’s a line, guys! That being
said, if you need to kiss your partner in public, DO IT! Not the long, drawn out slurpy face
kiss, but the “holy crap, I really like you and I don’t know how to put it into
words so I’m going to hold your face in my hands and kiss you on the
lips/forehead/cheek” kiss. Life is
too short to hold back your feelings for someone. Period.
2.
Listen.
If your involved with someone, it’s for a reason, so make sure they know
that you care about what they are saying.
Put down your frackin’ phone, turn off the TV, put down your book and
actually listen to them. Don’t try
and switch the conversation because you’re thinking about something else while
they’re talking. You’ll get your
chance, don’t worry, but right now…listen. Not only do we crave physical contact but also we crave
mental stimulation, and you’re the only one who can make this happen. Yes, I may tell you that I did laundry
today and then proceeded to throw it all on the bed because I didn’t feel like
putting it away…what am I trying to tell you?? HA! I have no
idea, other than the fact that when I go home there’s gonna be a monster pile
of clean laundry on my bed.
(ssshhhhhhh, don’t tell my mom!!!)
But maybe now you can envision the magic that looks as if Rainbow Brite
essssploded on my bed, because you KNOW me and you’re LISTENING…and you’ve seen
my socks.
You had a bad day at work? TELL me! I’ll listen, commiserate, give you advice, bitch about your
boss/co-worker with you, tell you that you should call in sick just for fun so
we can go pick apples together. Be
their best friend.
3.
Don’t fight. Or do??!! In
the 10(ish) years I was in a relationship, we “fought” approximately 3
times. Yes, that’s three. And those times they weren’t even “I’m
slamming the door” fights, they were “aw, crap, I’m real mad about
blah-blah-blah can we talk about this?
I might cry…is that ok?” fights.
Maybe it’s because we started off as best friends and we told each other
everything…and we listened to each other.
I don’t know! But then
again, maybe fighting is good for your soul? Just that carnal Imma yell at you and then feel real bad
about it reaction is healthy? This
is one thing that I’m actually not sure about…we’ll just leave it be. Hey! Who wants a hug??!!
