05/30/11

Today we started it off with a haunted cave!  The Bell Witch Cave!!!  It was gorgeous and amazing and all sorts of nice!!!  The woman giving the tour basically just talked to Barb and I the whole time.  Maybe she knew that we were believers…maybe she just saw that we were actually paying attention!  The cave had water in it too (and it was 60 degrees down there which is reaaaaaal nice in Tennessee!) so our feets got wet. 

You’re not supposed to take rocks from the cave, because you will be cursed and awful things will happen to you.  There are letters from people posted at the shop apologizing for taking rocks from the cave (they actually sent the rocks back)!  See, I’m collecting rocks along my travels for Nick (in Alaska) and I sooooooooooo wanted one from the Bell Witch Cave, but I know bettah.  I don’t want anything else happening to me!  We're doing pretty good at this point.  Two days with Leeloo (that’s the Element’s name, as in Leeloo Dallas multi-pass—Fifth Element) and nothing has gone drastically wrong.  Phew.  ‘Bout time. 

We also got a tour of a reproduction of a slave cabin.  Dogtrot style cabin.  The BEST architecture for the South.  I wants one please!!  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogtrot_house

While sitting enjoying the recorded “tour” which was done by the people who own the land now AND! which included sound effects (ahaahahahahaha!!) some Southern girl completely freaked out because a wasp was “near” her.  Not just freaked out, but completely.  To the point of embarrassing!  Sprang up from her seat and basically crawled over to our side of the room yelling.  WHA?  You live in the South honey.  I’m pretty sure there are worse things here!  Sheesh!  The woman giving the tour told her it was a dirt dauber (it’s all black) and that it was completely harmless, but that the red ones were the scary ones (figured that).  Barb and I know this now.  We will probably never see one again, but this chick will most likely continue to freak out on this poor guys family for the rest of her life.

Barb:  “I’m bored”—to be said like “I’m HUNGRY”.  She’s so cute!!!  Finish the tour, get in the car and get a hotel in Naaaaaaaashville. 

7:00 pm:

This is the Drake Inn “Stay Where the Stars Stay” is printed on their sign.  Now, I don’t know what kinda stars stay here, but they ain’t no Johnny Cash or Shania Twain that’s fer sure!

Time unknown:

We decide we need to go downtown to check out Nashville, ‘cause that’s what you do in Nashville.  While getting ready, I had to go back and forth to the main office to ask about a bus schedule, mail some postcards, do laundry, etc.  Oh!  But before all this I called my mum who was worried that we were in someone’s driveway.  See, she’s tracking me on my iPhone which is good and bad ‘cause she’s completely obsessed!!  ;)  I feel safe though knowing that she knows exactly where I am at all times!  She did think the satellite images were in real time though and couldn’t figure out why she couldn’t see me!  GAH!  She is so adorable I can’t even stand it sometimes!!!!!!!!

Anyway, here I am walking back and forth (I change once), then Barb has to go out to get something.  There are some folks at the pool; a family to be exact (and the dude has the hairiest back I have EVER seen).  Their young son asks me if I can play in the pool with him, so my response is “Just give me a minute and I’ll be right out.”  Dad’s response is “aw, don’t break his heart!” so then I tell him I can’t and that I’m sorry. 

Barb goes out and the young boy asks her the same thing…Barb tells him the truth right off.  Then I go out again and dad says, “what are you giving us a fashion show here?”…aaaahahahahahaha!  Yea…wait for it though!

Finally Barb and I are ready (and my laundry is done) so we both walk out to the complete astonishment of the family!  “There are TWO of them!!!!!!!!!”  Now I know that Barb and I are both tall, but come on now!  We’re not that similar!  Sisters possibly if we’re both wearing sunglasses, but other than that?  Silly people!

Time unknown:

I ask the guy at the front desk how far it is to downtown and if it’s walkable (we’ve been in a car for a long time and need some exercise).  He tells me that it would probably cost us about $15 to get downtown and that he could call us a cab.  I ask him why we couldn’t walk and he says “Well, it’s hot out today, you should take a cab.”

When someone suggests that you take a cab…take a cab, silly!  We walk to the bus stop (‘cause we’re cheap) and stand there for a moment.  Some dude yells at us from across the street looking for a cigarette…really?  We’re across the street!  No.  Then Barb mentions that maybe it’s a holiday schedule.  AAAAHAHAHAHAHA.  Yep.  I dunno!!!  I’m on “vacation”!!!  Like smaht girls we decide to walk to downtown…after the 3^rd incident from passing cars (only 2 blocks away from our hotel…we have about 15 more blocks to go), I spot a gas station.  They have an ATM.  I get cash, and we call a cab.  Should have probably listened to the guy at the front desk, then we wouldn’t be lookin’ like a couple of street walkers hangin’ outside of a gas station.  It was very nice of that gentleman to ask if we needed a ride somewhere though…was it?  Hmmmmmmmm…our cab pulled up just then.  Safe.

Imma gonna pause now, ‘cause I have to see aliens (it’s the 8^th of June and I’m in Roswell, NM).  Yes, I know I’m WAY behind on this, but I’ll catch up at some point.  Promise.  Maybe…

Lots of crushing loves to all of you!!!!!!!!  MWUAH!

05/29/11

We got up!  And actually got to eat breakfast at Loretta’s Kitchen!  And yes, everything that is cooked in a Southern restaurant is made with animal products…even the biscuits…Yea, we got sick again!  Best weight loss program ever.  BAH!!!

So where are you goin’ now?  OH!  To METROPOLIS!!!!  To see Superman!!!  And possibly see Clark Kent (not Clark Bent).  On our way there Barb informed me of a secret…….ssssshhhhh………ready?..........Veggie burgers………at BURGER KING!  AAAAHHHHH!!!  Food!!!!  And we didn’t get sick (thank goodness!).  Somehow they are able to shove 16 grams of fat into a veggie burger though.  How is that even possible?  Meh, we needed it! 

City ham VS country ham.  That there is your project for today.  Barb and I already know, but I thought I would make this a bit interactive so you don’t get bored with all ma’ words…  ;)

5:30 pm:

Metropolis.  Oh.  Metropolis.  Wha’ happen?!  Metropolis is the EXACT opposite of um…the definition of the word.  Or a town really.  The buildings are all dilapidated and boarded up, there aren’t any people…well a few, but most of them are tourists.  It’s a sad, sad, sad place.  BUT!  They do have a gigantic Superman!!!!  Which is aweshum!  And a phone booth that you can change into Superman in!!  Barb did it!  So we shopped at the Superman store (please say this in the nerdy lispy way) and got some stuffs.  Then asked the guy at the counter where we should go.  He told us to get outta dodge, basically, or get outta Edge City (snarf)!  Metropolis is in a dry county.  Illinois is weird.  The only place to get beer or anything for that matter is the casino.  Pause for a moment please.  Yes, there is a casino in Metropolis.  That’s where all the people are I guess.  It’s the nicest looking building in the whole town (from the outside).  Funny how this may be the evidence people need to fight against casinos.  Just go to Metropolis.  Casinos won’t make income for the town, see.  All the cash is siphoned out to another state.  You may get a couple of jobs, but what about your local dealer?  Hmmmmm?  Oh, they’re all gone.  Tsssssss.  Ok.  No more politics.  Sorry.

Time unknown:

We decide to beat feet it out of Illinois and try out Kentucky.  Yea, Kentucky is stupid with mean people in it.  The girl at the hotel was completely put out by my question as to if there was a AAA discount.  Well, if you’re gonna have that kind of attitude, I can go someplace else!

9:40 pm:

Tennessee!!!!!  Ah.  Home.  (heart)  And then we played on the internet until midnight!  I may have posted 1 song like 4 times, ‘cause my computer was acting funny.   WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! 

05/28/11

9:30 am:

UP! UP! UP!  We gots ta’ get some wheels to get (git?) to Loretta!!!  Starbucks for some real gooooood coffee and a blueberry scone.  The one thing I may miss the most about Maine (other than the humans) is it’s abundance of coffee shops, oh and food stuffs I can eat…I need some greens, dammit!!! 

11:30 am:

Hyundai dealership (yea, they were surprised to see us!).  And let me tell ya’!  Tennessee dealership dudes are the nicest people you will ever meet!  We were introduced to everyone there and they hung out with us the whole time!!  WOW!  I’m supposed to send a postcard to them during my travels.  (heart)  We also met this young bloke who was wearing camo and looked exactly like Tom Cruise!  He even had aviator shades and a dog head thing that you usually wear with a whole costume (um…)…when he was leaving; he walked up to me and said, “So, I’m going now.  I just wanted to let you know” and then stood there awkwardly.  What does a unicorn do?  She gets real excited and asks if she can take a picture of him!  YAY!  He was into it!

So, I buy a 2004 Honda Element.  Hold back tears as we clean out Jezebel…still holding back tears.  It’s for the best though!  I would be totally stressed the whole trip if still had her. 

3:00 pm:

DONE!  Finally!!  STARVING!!!!!!!!!

Barb and I go to this restaurant and EAT!  Fish & chips.  Yes, I’m a vegetarian, but sometimes one just has to break down and try and get some good stuffs in ya’ especially when you can’t find anything that will sustain your body so well in the South.

Oh…and then we both got sick.  Tssssssssss. 

7:30 pm:

Pull into Loretta Lynn’s ranch!  The show starts at 8:00 pm.  That was close!  I spoke with Melinda and she told me to come back the next day so that she could refund me the whole amount for our campsite.  I had reserved a full hookup site for us so we could hang on the ranch all day…that’s hard to do in an Element!  I love Melinda!  We gots us some Loretta Lynn beer cozies (they’re denim), one beer each to put into our new cozies, and settled into our seats—center stage, ninth row, right smack in the middle!  It twas the most amazing show EVAH!!!!!  Loretta had had knee surgery so she had to sit the whole time, but she came out and sang for us.  You could tell she was in pain sometimes, but damn.  That woman is AMAZING!

9:00 pm:

Off to town to check into the Knights Inn…they supposedly had a discount running for that night because of the show.  I don’t know what kind of discount it was since it cost us $90 for the room, but meh.  Oh, and it was FILTHY!  I took pictures, but they make me sick, so I will post them after the shock has worn off.  GROSS! 

Barb and I then settled on the bed to plot out Sunday!!! 

Oh, and the only radio station that came in was a religious one.  Hurricane Mills.