10:30 am:
UP! Ouch! UP!
Imma gonna drive to Chena Hot Springs today all by myself and see what these are all aboot! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!
Hike!! Total hiking mileage=8! Imma tired! Gimmie hot spring now please!
So I got my ticket to get into the hot spring before I started hiking. Now I walk into the lil’ vestibule thang and start looking at all the signs ‘cause I don’t want to get in trouble for not doing something right. (snarf) Yea, Amber…nice try sweetheart.
Gentleman at the counter says “Ma’am.” Yes? “You can’t go in there without a ticket.” Yes, I know, but your signs continue down this hallway and I’m just reading all 40 million of them!!! I have a ticket though.
Signs read. You know what sign wasn’t up???!!! “Ma’am.” Yea? “You have to remove your shoes before you go in there.” Oh. Sorry. “Ma’am.” AH! WHAT??!! “I need to see your ticket.” Oh. Right. Sorry.
I got my boots off and a kind gentleman sitting on the bench (also taking his shoes off) informed me that I should take my socks off too or they’ll get wet. Thanks!!!
I turned around shoes and socks removed, ticket given to attendant, signs read, and asked if I was clear to go in now…and that I didn’t want to get into any more trouble. He said yes, I was fine…this dude has NO sense of humor. Tssssssssss.
Locker room!!! Strip down to my swimsuit and see a sign (YEA! ANOTHER ONE!!) on the wall that says no cutoffs…hmmmmmm…I look at one of the women who just came into the locker room from the spring and ask her if my shorts were ok (they’re cloth “sport” shorts from the 80’s with white edging). There was some debate between her and her entire friend group and they finally decided that they meant denim jeans with frayed edges. Phew. Ok. She told me I was supposed to take a shower before going in but that there was no one on the outside who would notice. She did tell me that I should NOT under any circumstances take a shower after I had gone into the spring…since you know it’s sulfur and smells like death!!! Ok! READY! Give. Me.
Have you ever been in a hot spring? Holy smokes! That stuffs HOT!!! So here I am slowly getting into the water (there’s a sloping walkway that leads to the floor of the spring pool), I spy a place that is fairly empty (there are about 20 people in the spring) and sidle over to it. It is AMAZING!!!! Everything immediately relaxes. UGH! Nice. I hear a couple talking to another couple and he points to a corner and tells them that it is REALLY hot right there…hmmmmmmm…ok…….hotter than here???!! Imma gonna go see! I slowly walk over to the area and am like “tsssssssss, whatevah dude. This ain’t……AH! GGGGGAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” Ok. Yea, that’s hotter. WAY hotter! Ouchie. It’s very difficult to be alone in a hot spring and discover this super hot area. You can’t really look at a complete stranger and say “OH my gosh!!! AH! Careful! It’s wicked hot right here!!” [laugh/giggle/smile] You think I did that, huh? Well, typically I would, but it was hot and I was getting delirious from the heat, which translates into “quiet”.
I see that there is this fountain shooting up from the middle of the spring and decide to investigate by slowly walking through shoulder deep boiling water…on my way there, the kind gentleman catches my eye (the one that told me I should take my socks off) and beckons me over to him. Now, I ain’t no prude or embarrassed about stuff so easily, but when you’re in a hot spring in a two piece swimsuit alone with 6 military dudes hanging out on the rocks off to the side and a single man beckoning to you, yea, I will get a little on defense. Cautious. That, and I laugh louder in short bursts like a laugh stun gun. It works wonders!!! I think if I concentrate on it I will soon be able to burst eardrums with it. That is my superpower! Wheeeeeeeeee!!
So, I’m gonna chance this. I’m pretty sure nothing will happen in broad daylight with a bunch of other people around. I walk over towards him…….
“Honey. What do you think you’re doing??”
“Wha? Oh my gosh! WHA? What did I do now??!! I read all the signs!!” [laugh stun burst]
“You get into trouble wherever you go don’t you?”
“WHAT?? What did I do??” [pitiful scared face…’cause now I think I really DID do something wrong]
“Oh, Honey. Why do you think you’re in trouble?? You’re alone. You’re beautiful. Do you see how many couples are here? Did you see how many of the women pulled their men closer when you stepped into the pool? Did you see how many of those men were desperately trying to watch you? Trouble. Pure trouble I tell you.”
“Um………..you’re weirding me out, dude. If you saw all that, then…well…let’s just say you’re creepy.” [this is what I thought]
“Um…oh. Whoops” [laugh stun burst] “I guess I’ll just go over here then and try to blend in.”
“There’s a rock over there that you can sit on and still be fully covered by the spring. Don’t go over there though. Please. I don’t like the looks they’re giving you.”
“Oh! You mean the 6 military dudes leering at me? Funny. I was just thinking it would be fun to swim over there and plop down right in the middle of them…NOOOOOOO!!! ‘Course I’m staying away from that!!! I ain’t stooped!!!! Thanks for the info on the rock. BYE! I’ll try not to cause any more trouble.”
“hahahaha. Yea. You can try.”
Alright. Imma done with this hot spring. The fountain was cooler water…it was nice! So, here I am getting out of the spring (just as a tour bus unloads a gagillion tourists)…and I feel a bit dizzy. It’s late afternoon and I hiked 8 miles then went into a hot spring with ZERO stuffs in ma’ belly. Uh oh. Now wouldn’t that be the icin’ on the cake? Trouble all right. Passing out on the ramp to the hot spring=fail. I made it though!! Changed and ready. Get outside, quick! Where it’s 76 but feels sooooooo refreshing!!!
I got a breakfast bar, vitamin water, and a soda pop at the lil’ store there and proceeded to have a tailgate party at the Chena Hot Springs resort parking lot! Classy!!! As I was sitting there the military dudes walked by [great.]. One of them stopped and looked at me then proceeded to ask me if I was going horseback riding that day (Chena has horses that you can ride). I told him no…”oh, ok. Well, if you were, we were going to also and you look like you should be riding a horse.” [walks away]
A. What? B. WHA??! C. WHAT???!! Ugh. Imma out.
7:00ish pm:
Well, I was a’posed to meet Ryan at the Big I (The Big International) in Fairbanks right now, but I’m running a little late and now……..I have been captured by Owen, Aster, and Enigma! These are the kids of the landlord who were playing in the yard when I opened the trunk of Leeloo…they spotted my hoop and of course, I had to take it out for them! They are AMAZING!!!!!!! Kids just blow my mind! Owen’s like what 5? Maybe? He was all like, hey, look at me with this GIGANTIC hoop! I can work it!! WOW! Um…hey guys? As much as I would love to hang out with you for the rest of the night, I really need to get going…says the pied piper…
And NOW! Big I with Ryan, Brandon
Malory and Ryan went over to a table to sit with some other people and as I was turning to go with them the dude next to me captured me. How does this happen??!! AH! It was cool though. He’s going to Deadhorse (Northern Alaska ) to work on the pipelines. He works on scaffolding…some people have pictures of their friends and family, cool stuff that they’ve seen, etc. on their phones. This guy? 200 pictures of scaffolding projects that he’s worked on. And guess who got to see ALL of them and the story behind ALL of them??? Yea. This lady. Oh geez. It was quite interesting to begin with…but after the 50th picture they all kinda started looking the same. Shhhhhhhh. Don’t tell him! He was lonely. I smiled a lot and said “mmmmm.” “mmmm hmmm.” “Oh! WOW!” “Cool.” “Oh! Gosh! I’ve got to go see my friends since I’m just visiting and haven’t seen them in 20 years. Sorry. It was really nice to meet you. Thanks for showing me your work!”
Sometimes, I miss Barbara. She would have totally thrown interference for me after the 5th picture. Dear Amber Pants, try not to be so frackin’ nice to everybody!!!
At the table where I get to meet the infamous Todd!!!!!! In person!!! We’re friends on the facebook thang, but had never actually met. Oh, internets. You amaze me!! I also got to meet Walter and Andrew. Then we played a game “3 questions” which was really fun and eye-opening. Like Truth or Dare but better…you have to give 3 answers to a question that someone makes up: What would you not sell for cash? What would you have done differently in your life? Etc. Try it. It’s awesome!
Ok. Now we need to go eat some chocolate mousse at a picnic table. AFTER we reprimand Andrew about spending all of his birthdays ALONE! BAH! NO!!!!
Marlin! Again! I think Fairbanks
Upstairs on the deck we get to hang with Max and then………wait for it………..JEREMY!!!!! YAY!!!! He is also a friend in cyberspace whom I have never met in person. And he’s frackin’ awesome too!!! Wheeeeeeeeee!!! Zane came up to hang with us for a bit too (he’s a DJ…supposedly real famous like too). I went down to get another beer and some douchetube (Tony) decided to invade ma’ space and then follow me back up like a wee lil’ puppy dog. Oh, and then? He decided it would be fun to shake his booty in my general space…no. nope. That makes me angry. Please don’t make me angry. Please? Ryan came to the rescue though claiming that both Malory and I were his wives. HA! Whoa! And somehow that made him stop and go away. Weird.
Phineas Gauge played and it was aweshum. This is Cabin Rap. Check them out. Pure Alaskan art. Thank you.
Now we get to go home? Nope. Not until the military dude in the bright red Duff t-shirt finishes harassing us…thank you Nic for running interference by slamming yourself right next to me and crushing me before drunk crazy dude got to me. (hearting)
NOW! Home! With Jeremy and Ryan and Chad Fairbanks
Sleep. Goooooooooosh!
PS. My theory: Alaska
Thank you to all of my loves in Alaska
No comments:
Post a Comment