07/16/11

5:00 am:

UP!  UP!  UP!  Just drive!  Why would you have a gas station that is open at 5am and NOT have coffee ready and waiting for me??!!  WHY?

And traveling on 37 N. you find Mushroom buyers!  They are set up in clearings alongside the road, they live in tents and tarp structures for the season, and they buy mushrooms from people who forage for them in the forest!  Supposedly, you can get big cash for these mushrooms…if you know what you’re lookin’ for!

The highway here is rocky.  Literally.  They don’t pave them…well, they pave some of it and then it’s back to rocky!  So you’re going 65 on the paved part and all of a sudden you have to slow down to 45-50 so you don’t go flying off the road!  Oh and it’s barley wide enough for 2 cars so when you see that semi truck comin’ at cha, yea, you’re the one who better be sure to get as far to the right as you possibly can without falling off the road! 

Need to pee soooooooooooooo bad and after seeing a coyote and cub on the side of the road just hanging out I have decided that it would NOT be a wise choice to just pull over and run into the woods…so now?  It’s an emergency!!!  Seriously.  It hurts.  I know this is too much information, but you may need it if you do this trip!  If you see a rest stop and you think you may have to pee, pull OVER!!  Don’t think, oh man, I can totally wait until the next one…because the next rest stop or gas station?  It’s 2-3 hours away.

Finally………..in the distance………..as I crest a hill………..there on the horizon………..is the vent pipe for the public rest stop outhouse!  HORRRRRRAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!  OH!  And a sign lettin’ me know I just entered the YUKON!!!!!  WHOA!  Have you ever had that feeling where you cross over this imaginary line into another state like Illinois!  Wheee!  Colorado!  Wow!  California!  Phew!  It’s like that when you cross over into the Yukon, but different and amazing.  IT’S THE FRICKIN’ YUKON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Right there!  Right after you cross this threshold (and after you manically run to the outhouse and hope ya’ get yer drawers down in time).  YUKON!!!  It’s like a punch in the belly while someone is pinching the back of your arm (all in a good way)!!  And then?  Well, then you just start leaking from yo’ eyeholes because you have driven from Maine to the Yukon.  Yea.  Yep.  You just did that Amber Pants.  Well done, lady!

There’s a town about 15km in the opposite direction of where I want to go, but I’m crazy hungry and sleepy and would love to sleep in a bed maybe?  So I drive there…there ain’t much, but I stop at a hotel and ask if they have any vacancies.  Nope.  (sigh) ok…wait…what??!!  Really?  The next hotel has a couple rooms left and it’s $110!!!!!!!!  GAH!  No!!!!! 

9:00 pm:

I drove to the gas station/ice cream stand/cafeteria/grocery store to pick up some water and plot what I should do next.  Hot food would be nice so I walk up to the counter and ask if they could make me a grilled cheese sandwich with French fries.  The cook looks at me for a wee bit then smirks and says, yea, I can probably to that for you.  It’s usually a breakfast item, but since you asked so nicely I’ll make you one.  AND!  Instead of just French fries, I’ll make you some potato wedge fries instead.  Would you like that?

Would I like that??!!  YES PLEASE!  Gimmie!!!  Put it in ma’ face!!  Wait…….grilled cheese is a breakfast item?  Ye’all are a wee bit crazy in the Yukon huh?

I sit down with my MilePost book and begin to slowly shove said food in my mouth…ok…it wasn’t so slow.  I devoured it like a hyena, but hey!  I was surrounded by local Yukonian men!  I do what I want!  I ain’t no lady!! 

After my delicious dinner I get some water to go and some…….cheese sticks as backup, walk up to the counter and begin checking out.  The lady at the counter notices my book and lets me know there is a free map of the Yukon by the exit door.  I thank her and grab one while she’s ringing me out.  As I’m looking at it she starts explaining it to me, then her co-worker comes over and helps out pointing out the best campsites and what route to take and where there may be more construction!  WOW!  Thanks guys!  They were really excited to help me and I (hearts) them for it because now it’s ¼ to 10 and Iza wicked sleepy and have warm food stuffs in my belly. 

9:45 pm:

Leaving the all in one store/food place, pack up my car with the water and cheese sticks, trying to avoid the 2 cars that are in back of my car (perpendicular) and full of teenagers.  And I hear

Boy:  “Oh. My. Gawd.  Who is THAT??!!”

Girl:  “How am I supposed to know?  I don’t know everyone around here!”

2^nd girl:  “She has Maine state plates.  She ain’t from here.”

2^nd boy:  “Who cares!!  Look at her!!”

Girl:  “She’s looking at a map.  She’s probably lost.”

Boy:  “Well get over there and tell her the directions to my HOUSE!!!!!”

Girl:  “Um…what?  Ok?”

Amber:  [Door closed, keys in ignition, backing out, driving out of town]

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

10:30 pm:

First campground spotted!!  Pull in, “register”, configure Leeloo to sleep mode.  Crash out!  My phone isn’t working here…it’s the Yukon!  (snarf)  I hope everyone knows Imma ok!!!