03/17/14

Night terrors.  Lemme tell you; explain to you, what these are and why she is so very volatile afterwards.  A human has a “dream” and while many of you think dreams are nice and stuffs and it’s the nightmares you should stay away from, some of us have terrors.  It’s a nightmare times 1000!  It’s the thing that when you try to run, you actually do in your sleep and then the thing that is chasing you catches up and you fight it…in your sleep and in real life.  It’s the moment when you “wake up” and punch and kick and smack your hand against the wall and then say…”I’m awake, it’s ok”…but YOU’RE NOT!  Nope.  It’s that moment when you scream “WAKE ME UP!  Please.  Please, wake me up”.  But the person that you are snuggling with doesn’t understand, so your subconscious tells them out loud that it’s ok…it’s ok…it’s ok…but wait!  It’s not!  Because then all of a sudden you’re back in the terror even though you were sitting up and your eyes were open.  It’s remembering EVERYTHING.  Every detail of the terror.  And you keep it with you, always.  The action figures on the windshield, the writing on the windows, the driving down a cliff, the guy with the chainsaw, the small room without any escape, the shoving your fist through the wall to make an opening, the witnessing of acts that kill your soul.  It stays with you.  So, yes, when she wakes up from them the last thing you want to do is to push her away, because she’s still there.  In that moment.  And it will take at least a 1/2 hour to get her out of it…because if you let her fall back asleep…BOOM!  Again.  Over and over.  And these are the terrors.  Maybe it’s because we can’t deal with stuff emotionally, so our brain decides to deal with it on it’s own.  Maybe it’s because we can’t talk about things that are hurting us…because we’re so great on the outside…nobody wants to see the demons inside.  Ever.  Either way, yes, she will become vehement, volatile, violent, then…sad, uncaring, vulnerable…all of these things.  So, take care.  Just grab onto them and hold them, because it probably has nothing to do with you and you’re halping.  Promise.  Hold on.