06/26/11

SHOWER!  Gimmie hot shower!  YEA!  I pull the curtain aside and stare in awe at this thing that is trying desperately to pass as a shower for normal humans.  I’ve had this problem all along the trip, but each time it shocks me.  The showerhead?  It’s installed at a mere 4’-9” from the base of the shower pan.  That’s a full 12” too low, and technically it would be too low at 5’-9”!  I suggest we start making it mandatory to have showerheads at LEAST 6’-0” from the base of the shower, and it would be dreamy if they were say 6’-7” from the base, yea?  Can you image??  Soooooo nice.  So, I get in to this tomb and discover it’s approximately 2’ by 2’ square.  Whoa.  That’s tight.  Shower consisted of me smackin’ my head on the shower head not once but TWICE, hitting my elbow on the water knobs, and then smacking my arm against the other side of the shower.  Needless to say, it twas not a very enjoyable experience and I came out of it bruised and angry.  Stupid shower.  I will set you on fire next time I see you.  And I send you a not so friendly zerbert from ovah heah!!!!

10:00 am:

Driving through the redwoods.  Speechless.  Slowing down to a crawl…oop!  Ok, ok!  Sheesh!  I’m actually enjoying this right now, just go around me.  And it’s unbelievably impossible to explain the absolute grandness of a redwood forest.  It’s like you’re 5 and you have 50 amazingly large, caring, and loving dads who are standing around you looking off into the distance and letting you do what you need to do all the while gently guiding you and nudging you toward the right path, but still accepting who you are as an individual.  The immensity of staring up into the canopy is indescribable (and hurts a lil’ after a while!!).  Now take that and drive through it.  You start off in a sunny area, hanging off of cliffs and working your way through thoughts and POW!!!!  Darkness.  Unexpected darkness because you can’t see them coming around the turns and you DO actually need your headlights on even though it’s 10 in the morning.  (sigh)  You should go, ok?

11:00 am:

Confusion Hill!!!  So, I drove by this on my way to Garberville and HAD to go back to see it!!  It’s amazing!  It’s like an adult version of a crazy place.  Does that make any sense?  There’s a house that you can go into that “defies gravity” and a wee lil’ train you can ride that does switchbacks up a mountain.  By “wee lil’ train” I mean I got in and had to sit sideways ‘cause these legs just didn’t fit so well (that was after I slammed them up against the back of the seat in front of me—ouch), and by “switchbacks” I mean that the train went up a portion, then the “conductor” threw it into reverse after a dead end and we then went up another portion!  WHEEEEEEEE!!  It was so much fun!  I didn’t ring the train bell at the end though…he wanted me to so bad, but I just…I didn’t…and yea, I’m sad about it.  BAH!

4:00 pm:

Drove to Eureka!  Because who WOULDN’T want to stop and stay at a town called Eureka??!!  Um…me.  Yea.  So I went to a coffee shop and ordered a fancy drink.  As the long haired, pony tailed, tattooed, gauge earring wearing dude rang me up I asked him what there was to do in Eureka and he proceeded to tell me “Nothing.  That’s why I moved here.  There is absolutely nothing here and it keeps me out of trouble.”  Then he stared me down.  Whoa.  Dude.  Settle yo’self.  You could have just started hiking or doing yoga or sumthang I think, but ohkay.  Thanks.  I’m out.

4:30 pm: 

Driving.  I need a place to crash and so want to sleep in the woods tonight!  All the State Park campsites are full.  I even drove 6 miles down a curvy DIRT road to a State Park site that I found out was also full…maybe you should have put a sign out down at the start of this???  You won’t let me park in your parking lot, huh?  He really wanted to let me, but he was worried he would get in trouble.  Tssssss.  What ever. 

Ok portion of driving the 6 miles?  There were wild ELK at the beginning of the road in the field!!!  BIG!  WILD!  ELK!  That’s way better than ants, huh?  Not quite as good as cows, but a wee bit better than ants!

Alright then.  My book says there’s a hostel around here, so let’s do that!  It’s not the woods, but better than a hotel and I’ll probably meet some awesome people.  It’s in an Edwardian style home and overlooks the beach.  Yes, please!  I arrive at the road, take a right, and drive about 50 feet and BAM!  Gated off.  No trespassing.  WHA?  So, I back up and pull into the first driveway on the road, get out my directions again, and as I’m waiting for my phone to load I look up the hill to this amazingly gorgeous Edwardian style home that is…………all boarded up.  DAH!  WHY??!!  So what does Amber do?  Well, there’s a beach across this road here and I betcha it would very much enjoy the company of one unicorn!  And yes, I played in the ocean and got ma’ pants wet because that’s how I deal with stupid situations.

After playin’ I found that I wasn’t too far from Crescent City and it looked like a fairly large town, so we can now plan on that…and a hotel.  Blech.  Upon leaving the parking area, I noticed a sign there with pictures discussing the beach and the….hostel…….it was really quite sad.  Obviously, no one told the sign that this hostel that’s been open since the 20’s (!!!!!!!!) was no longer open for business.  You will buy it for me?  I will reopen it and continue the tradition! 

Time unknown:

Driving to Crescent City (it’s about 1 ½ from me) and I smell something that I should NOT ever smell in my car…the reek of alcohol…ok.  THAT is not good!  What do I do??!!!  I’m on the cliffs, winding all along the road, trying to navigate switchbacks, no place to pull over.  FINALLY I happen upon a town with a Safeway!  So I pull into a parking space (away from everyone else) and open the back of Leeloo…oh gosh.  My wine decided to splay its deliciousness ALL over the back of the car, and on my laundry bag, and on my pj bottoms, and under the cooler.  Luckily, somehow, it did not seep into all of my clean clothes and books!!!!  PHEW!  So I clean it up (yea, because I carry paper towels and cleaning spray stuffs with me—of course I do) and head over to Starbucks for yet ANOTHER coffee.  Hey!  I deserved it!  My wine just was wasted on an inanimate object and she didn’t even share with me!  Boy that’s stinky!  

8:30 pm:

Crescent City!  Hotel!  Thai food!  Wine (a new bottle)!!

Sleep!!!!!!