07/14/11

Mornin’ sleepy heads!  OMG!!!  Jessica!!!!!!!  What are you still doing here??!!!  You were supposed to be at work 3 hours ago!!!  AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!  And yes, for some reason, Amber is a bad influence.  How did this happen??!!  (face plant)  Imma so sorry!!!  I will crush you goodbye as you rush off to work, then I will find a coffee shop to get some coffee and perhaps some food, because even though you cooked so much last night I only ate a wee bit of pasta.  DOH!

Today, I hung out in Jessica’s yard for a while and read.  It’s called relaxing…it’s rather weird really.  And then?

Well………..I took off.  To Alaska.  To the border.  There were too many obligations in Seattle?  Maybe?  Too many more people to see?  Maybe?  Too many responsibilities?  Maybe?  I needed to go.  I didn’t know how to make the decision (to stay another night or to go) so I just found myself walking to my car and starting it up and driving North.  It’s a strange feeling to leave so many people left untouched by the glitter, but I had to…

6:00 pm (ish):

Bellingham, WA.  Checking into a hotel because once I hit Canada and Alaska, well it’s all camping all the time, so I might as well enjoy one last night in a real bed with running water and hot coffee.

I’m outside having a whiskey drink when the neighbor lady pops out and tells me I shouldn’t be smoking on the balcony.  I’ll get in trouble.  The guy in the next room got mad at her last night for it.  Go downstairs, honey.  Over there.  I’ll come smoke with you just lemme get my drink and cigarettes.  This is all said with a bleary eyed slur.  Oh Bellingham, where did you find this lady?? 

Here we are downstairs (still outside) and her husband is up on the balcony.  He snuck up as she was complaining about him.  Youch.  How did I get in the middle of this?  Why are you telling me all of this???!!!  Lady tells her husband that I’m going to Alaska and that I’m alone.  Husband?  Well, he freaks out.  First all excited about it that I’m doing this, then when we get up to the balcony and notices that I tower over him and he can then take a good look at me…well…he gets mad at me.  “Alaska is the ONE place you do NOT want to GO!!  EVER!!!  You don’t understand, honey!!!!  You CAN’T go there!  Especially alone!!!!!  EVER!!!!  Please.  Please do not do this.”

Ok.  So, again.  Who are the only people who can say this to me?  Mom, dad, husband, best friend.  They all know me though and will only say “I don’t like it.  Please be safe and smart.”  You, Sir, have NO RIGHT to tell me what to do.  I have friends up there (which I already told you) and I’m pretty sure they won’t let anything happen to me.  Yep.  So back off.

Creepy dudes.  Cue.  How do you DO that??!!  So yea, 3 creepy guys come up to the balcony because the husband of drunk lady gave them the rest of their beer and rum because supposedly they can’t take it over the border…if you read up on it, you CAN take booze over the border…just a limited amount.  Well, these guys are almost out and were wondering if they had more to get rid of.  Why yes!  Yes, they do!  More rum…we’ll share it.  Blech.  No.  Husband decides it a good idea to tell three creepy dudes who I am, what I’m doing, and that I’m alone.  Awesome.  Great.  Thanks.  That’s just perfect. 

Sometimes life hands you a bad situation just ta’ test ya’ then turns around and says, “hey, alright lady, sorry…I was just trying to have a little fun there, so you can use this as your out, ok?”  That’s when a skater dude went by downstairs.  Drunk lady called out to him and asked him to come up.  What IS it with these drunk ladies hollerin’ at the young dudes…and them listening??!!  So, he comes up.  Looks around and beelines it straight for me.  Oh.  Yea.  Great.  Awesome.  What now??!!  I just wanna be in Alaska please.  Life, please stop throwing crap in ma’ way!  Skater dude walks up and says “hey”.  Hey back.  Introduces himself real quiet like, turns around listens to husband and other creepy dudes who are all staring and leering at me now then turns back and says “You got any beer left for me, babe?  I got real thirsty skatin’, so if you have anything that would be grand.”  I have whiskey.  You want one?  Yes?  “How has your night been?  Sorry I was gone for so long.  I got a little lost.  Did you get to eat?”

What are you doing dude??!!  Really?  Are we pretending we know each other?  I don’t get it.  Husband walks up and introduces himself to skater dude…skater dude introduces himself to husband then says “I hope my girlfriend hasn’t been given ye’all too much trouble!  She gets a little rowdy sometimes!!!”  Whoa.  Wha? 

And it works…somehow…there must be some sort of male thing that happens when I’m not looking…three creepy dudes disappear, husband goes back into his room in a huff.  I’m left alone with skater dude and drunk lady.  HA!  WOW!  And I’m torn because I don’t need no dude to scare away the creeps, but I’m also thankful for you.  So, thanks.  Oh look!  Now drunk lady is all up in your face trying to get you to sleep with her?  WHA??!!  She disappears for a moment and comes back out telling me that her husband is upset that I lied to him and told him that I was alone.  He respected me for doing this alone and here it is a whole fang-dangle lie!  He’s mad and sad.  I should go apologize.  Um…….no…….lady…….I ain’t going nowhere near your husband.  He gives my insides the hurting and want to punch and my brain buzzes with red anger around him for some reason, so I’m gonna trust all of that and stay far, far away from your husband, otherwise you may be without said husband in 5.2 seconds…Dexter style.

Drunk lady is tired.  Skater dude hangs for about another hour then heads out when the coast is clear.

Midnight:

Sleep.  Stop keeping me up so late.  Please.

Of course, drunk lady and husband look into my room in the morning (Imma up and already dressed) to see if skater dude is there…he’s not…maybe he went out to skate again?  Waaaaaahahahaha!