WAIT! I forgot something!
Rita's been wanting a dog for a while now. Skya passed away about a year ago and it's time to have another companion in the home!! So! She looks on the animal rescue sites and finds 5 German Shepard mix puppies that are up for adoption! AAAAHHHHHH!!! YES! I will have one (or 2 or 3) also please! We zoom down to the shelter because they close at 5 (it's 4:15) and ask about the puppies. Well the lady looks at us all exasperated and such and says the last puppy was adopted 2 hours ago. Aw, man. Ok. That's fine. Of course puppies are the first to go! They don't have any bad habits yet, they're fairly predictable, you can train them how you want them to be whereas older dogs...well, you really just don't know...and yes, I know this from experience since our dog is no longer around humans, or animals.
So we ask to see this German Shepard/Cattle Dog mix named Mousse Royale. Thassa silly name! And they're all like, he doesn't like people, he's very shy, you may not be a good fit, he's skiddish, etc. Just show us the dog lady!
Mousse comes out and we go into the social room with him and yes, he is scared. So very scared. Any regular movement freaks him out so you have to move in slow motion around him. He has scabs and scars all over his body and he is so thin that you can see every rib. (sigh) Humans. Why do you do this to animals??!!
Here we are hanging out with him and he walks over to the door, lifts his leg and proceeds to pee all over the door. AAAHAHAHAHA! I thought maybe they had taken him out before we saw him because it took them 20 minutes to get the dog out to us.
I look at Rita and see her face and what's in her eyes and know that she is hooked even though the dog is not paying any attention to her.
We're ready. Rita wants him, but it's too late. And here is the worst customer service experience I have had in a long time. The girl at the counter says he won't get along with her cat, that he's not trained, he won't do well on a leash, he'll nip at your calf when he walks with you, he'll try to fight other dogs if he gets over excited, blah blah blah. We don't care. Cat test him, then hand him over.
"You need to come back tomorrow or something because we're closing in 5 minutes."
Oh, ok biatch. Thanks for being so friendly and accomodating. It's like you don't even want us to adopt a dog. Do you want to keep him for yourself? You understand that there are kill shelters out there and for every dog you get adopted you can then take one from the kill shelter and save it. What's wrong with you??!! She had massive attitude and a look that said, you don't know what you're doing. Jerk.
Ok, well you know what? We're coming back tomorrow right when you open to get this dog. Be ready.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
07/02/11
AND! We’re up! And we’re going to “The Big Egg” for breakfast and coffee. Obviously, Rita and her mum didn’t get the memo that Amber needs at least 1 cup of coffee before she can function properly…that’s ok…I’ll just stumble into my clothes (and hopefully put them on correctly and stare blankly at the menu until you order for me!
The Big Egg is located off of Mississippi St. in a food cart area! It’s set up this way and permanent!! There’s a vegan place and a coffee place and…so much! There were I think 10(ish) carts there! WOW! Oh, and not carts really but converted campers and such. Tssssssss. Awesome. You have to get here when they open though (8am) otherwise you will have to wait 45 minutes for your breakfast burrito! Whoa! Yes, that’s how good the food is!
10:00 am:
Hanging out on Rita’s new patio that she and her mum made from broken up concrete, bits of brick, and dirt! It’s awesome and the moss will be planted soon so it can grow all over it! Rita’s yard is a gardener’s paradise (not to be confused with a gangsta’s paradise). Her sister, Renee designed and installed it. And WOW! So yea, sitting in her yard made me feel quite at home and I believe may have defragmented me…
11:00 am:
We’re off to go hiking in the gorge to find waterfalls and moss and trees and such! YAY! And it’s beautiful. The waterfall? HUGE! I don’t know how far up the mountain it starts, but WOW! It’s far and you can see the sheets of water falling from the cliff. We all hiked up to the top (2 miles) to see the view. The people at the bottom were just pinpricks of humanness…yea, it was a long way up!
And driving home we get the view again. Mount Hood and Mount St. HelensWashington State
9:00 pm:
Home and hanging out after a walk around the neighborhood and decide that we need to eat again, because that’s what you do in Portland Oregon Portland
11:00 pm:
Sleep again. And still so very happy.
07/01/11
UP! No sign of crazy bird, no bird droppings anywhere, and my eyeballs are still in tact. Phew!
9:30 am:
CHEESE FACTORY TOUR!!!!! YAY!!!!! Tillamook makes cheese and there’s a factory where you can see how it’s done! It’s like Sesame Street but in person! ‘Member??!
It was AWESOME!!!! The workers didn’t look too pleased that there was a whole bunch of people staring at them. It’s set up like an autopsy room in college, where everyone is on the next floor up behind glass and they are doing the autopsy on the first floor under really bright lights. They also looked COMPLETELY bored out of their minds…
After the self-guided tour I gots some ICE CREAM! I asked for the smallest one and the guy told me that the junior cone was only the size of a golf ball, so I opted for the “small” instead. Tsssss. Should have went with the junior ‘cause that small was HUGE! I asked him if he could help me with it, which consequently, embarrassed the ba-jesus outta him. Edit your words, Amber…please!!
All fine and good, hanging out on the picnic bench in the parking lot trying to eat this Strawberry ice cream cone when…wha? Yea, you guessed it. Some duchetube drives by and says something leering and jerk-like about me and the ice cream cone and…well, you get it. REALLY???!!! It’s ice cream. BAH!! Leave me be! I just had a cheese factory tour and am really happy right now. Jerk.
1:00 pm:
I went back to the State Park I was at yesterday to get a campsite. One night in a hotel with a pool and Jacuzzi and bed made me allllllll bettah! But, wha? It’s all full? And the same guy was at the registration booth and asked me if I found a room alright and if I slept ok. Awwwwwww! (heart) OH! And I didn’t stay at the first hotel I stopped at because the parking area smelled like rotten garbage and the main office smelled like cat piss! EW! No!
Why is it full??? Wha happened? And then he looks at me with a pitiful look and says “It’s fourth of July weekend. You’ve been on the road for a while, huh?” (smirk/smile). HA! Yea! Fourth of July weekend huh? Uh. Oh. That means the hotels are all gonna be booked and the hostels and the State Parks, right? State parks=full [confirmation by nice dude at booth]. Ok, can I hang out in the day use area? Yes, yes I can! All day long until sunset if I want to.
So I sat on the beach and watched a bunch of people…who had campsites or homes or hotels to sleep in that night. Yes, please. Feel pity for this girl!!!
Back to my car, changed into jeans and t-shirt, because I needed to be prepared for the worst…which was what? Zombie attack?? Apocalypse? Sleeping in my car on the side of the road? READY!
2:30 pm:
I’m sitting in my car (tailgate party style!) looking at my books and maps and such and I have just confirmed that yes, all of the reasonably priced hotels are all booked and the hostels are full. Awesome. I’m pretty sure that if I pull up in that far corner there, no one will notice me during the night…hmmmmmm.
Just then this amazing old Chevy drives by (it’s dark tan—purdy) with a camper attached to the back. The gentleman smiles at me as he passes, then parks and heads to the beach.
20 minutes later the gentleman comes back to the parking lot and heads straight for me. He asks what I’m doing/where I’m from/where I’m headed. We talk about Jezebel and his camper…he’s a certified camper inspector (I didn’t know there were such things!) and I told him he should have been with me when I got Jezebel. He asks where I’m staying and I told him…honestly, I have no idea. Everything is full so I thought I would just sit here and procrastinate until they kicked me out! LOL! Huge Amber smile/laugh. He introduces himself to me as Tony and then proceeds to tell me that he’s going to go find his daughter to see if they have room for me at their site. I would just have to pay the extra car fee ($5) and his daughter has 3 girls so if I can handle all of that, then he’ll see what he can do! WOW! Really??!! That’s the most amazing thing evah!! I (heart) you Grandfather Tony!! He asks if I’m going to be there a while yet and I tell him for at least another hour or so.
4:30 pm:
No sign of Tony…and it makes me sad…like he set me up for a fall, but maybe his daughter said no and he doesn’t want to tell me that…
You know who I have 1 ½ hours away though??? Rita Minjarez!! Yep! I’m not supposed to arrive until the 3rd, but um…it’s either that or the side of the road and if I wrote THAT story in my blog me mum would be quite upset with me!!!
Rita’s amazing and we met in high school in Germany
The last year I was there, we realized we had the same friends and hung out together a couple of times. We bonded and since then, well, nothing has come between our friendship and most likely never will. Oh except that one time we went to see Jane’s Addiction and on the way back I was playing them too loud on the boombox…the stereo didn’t work in the car…she got mad…Rita’s scary when she gets mad! She’s even scary when she pretends to be mad!!!
6:00 pm:
Pulling in to Portland Oregon Germany
- Grilled Salmon with reduction sauce
- Spinach with onions and raisins
- Mashed potatoes
- Garlic bread
- Blueberry cobbler with Mascarpone cheese
- PBR
- Whiskey shots
Yes, that was dinner. You’re totally jealous, huh? And yes, I ate the salmon and it was so frackin’ delicious!!!!!
Then we hung out for the night and I got to hear Rita’s laugh over and over again…she has the most contagious laugh EVAH! <3
Sleep! Content. Happy. Crushed.
That night there was a bright white glow coming from outside my window. Maybe I was dreaming? Hmmmmmm…
Friday, July 8, 2011
06/30/11
As a side note, please remember that if you play in the rain by the ocean for a few hours and go back to your car to sleep, you’re clothes WILL still be wet in the morning. Yep. Soaked actually. Oh, and you’re windows will be all steamed up…hopefully the other campers don’t notice since that would be a bit embarrassing! It’s just me here!! Nothing weird happened in ma’ car last night! Promise!!! AH!
1:20 pm:
Shilo Inn—Tillamook , Oregon
Why am I here? Well, I was going to stay at another State Park, but I wanted a cabin or yurt; unfortunately, those are all booked at least 9 months ahead of time. I need a bed for at least a day. Three nights in a row sleeping in my car is awesome, but I would like to just be able to sleep sleep without feeling all claustrophobic. The guy at the registration booth tells me to head over to Tillamook which is only 12 miles from the park. I of course asked him if I could bunk with whoever booked the yurts (no) or if he could change the name on one of them to mine (no). Well, doesn’t evah hurt to ask, right? He very much enjoyed it! Unicorned!!
I check into the Shilo Inn and promptly fall into a deep sleep with ma’ boots on laying on the covers. Whoop! Yes. Tired.
Awake and groggy after a 2 hour nap, so I head to the indoor pool (!!!!), swim a bit to the weird looks from grandma swimming with her granddaughter…WHA??! Then hang out in the Jacuzzi for a wee bit. Back in the pool AGAIN then upstairs for some food!
I went out to have a cigarette…and was promptly scolded at by some crazy bird sitting on the roof of my car! He just kept yellin’ at me and moving closer and closer to my face so I walked over across the parking lot to hang out there…and he proceeded to fly to the roof of the car next to me and begin yelling at me and moving closer and closer to my face! What the hell, bird???!! Ok! Ok! I’m going back in! Sheesh! And he follows me real low like as if he is going to kamikaze right into my brain! And then I hear them…babies…in the tree right next to the hotel. Ah!!!! I see! I ain’t gonna hurt your babies, dude. Don’t worry!
This dance of Amber VS bird happened 3 times! Me talking to the bird explaining that I wasn’t going to hurt its babies and him being all like, get away from my home you crazy person!!!! Yea. I was talking to a bird in the middle of a hotel parking lot while said bird gallantly tried to bombard me. Stupid bird. I don’t want to know what kind you are and what kind of stupid mystical connection you have with me. Tsssssss!
And it’s Thursday tonight…which means my ladies are probably out socializing and dancing…without me. (sigh)
Now sleep again. I’m getting pretty good at this sleepin’ thang, huh? Hopefully the bird won’t figure out how to get in the window and creep around me all night on it’s wee little feet………
06/29/11
UP!
And this morning I am visited by a wee lil’ pig! Or (ehem) what I thought was a pig by the sounds of it, but really it was just a hummingbird. They totally sound like pigs when they flit aboot! It was VERY interested in the fire pit and kept sticking it’s beak into the holes where all the ash was..why??!! There was no fire (thank goodness!).
I have an amazing woman in my life that has an amazing husband and he has been sending me information on the birds of flight that I come across. Here is what the hummingbird symbolizes:
“Hummingbirds: Tireless Joy and the Nectar of Life. It has the ability to move its wings in a figure 8...infinity...links to past and future, cause and effect. Hummingbirds can’t exist without flowers and some flowers can’t exist without hummingbirds...extract your own nectar...use flowers for healing including scents, color and herbal qualities. Its swiftness reminds you to grab joy while you can. There are also connections to the faerie realm.
There is so much to talk about with the hummingbird....I will say that in the area you are now is a migration route from Alaska to Central America....some 2500 miles. The hummingbird is a symbol for accomplishing what seems impossible........so much more.”
There is so much to talk about with the hummingbird....I will say that in the area you are now is a migration route from Alaska to Central America....some 2500 miles. The hummingbird is a symbol for accomplishing what seems impossible........so much more.”
So yea. Hey there hummingbird!
I need coffee. Hot steamin’ coffee! Safeway and Starbucks! Nice! And while I’m here I will get some groceries too! Wheeeeeeee!!! Then after that I will drink my coffee and eat my Joe’s O’s out of a coffee mug while sitting in my car. Oh. And if you eat cereal out of a mug you WILL see them fly all over the place because it’s not a bowl and they wanna escape onto the asphalt. I don’t know why…they just do.
Driving. And driving. I need to do something. Move. So, Imma gonna hoop at this “Scenic View” parking area and I’m going to record it for all my lovies that may be missing me back home. I’m in the grass, on a cliff, overlooking the Pacific Ocean . Perfect.
2:30 pm:
Another beach campsite! YAY!
This time I’m going to make a fire to keep warm and possibly cook some hot food on it…ahhhhhhh! I got some firewood from the Camp Host
So here I am hanging out. I just took a really long walk on the beach…I almost got lost…yes, tsssssss…you CAN get lost on a beach! Come on now! Pulling in to the campsite next to me is 2 SUVs and from said SUVs comes 10-12 girls in their early 20’s or so and wow, they are loud and giggly! I walk over to the edge of my campsite and let them know that they are more than welcome to hang out over here since I have a corner site and it’s HUGE! It’s like I have a backyard for my campsite! I thought I was being nice…I’m pretty sure I didn’t look like a crazy person! But what I got from them was blank stares and silence until one brave soul looked around at her friends, looked at me and said, “WOW! Thanks!”…then everyone went back to setting up the tents. Um…ok…I found out later on that they were super young and needed to talk about boys and boys, oh! And boys and then the hilarious saying of “Oh snap” which they then proceeded to use with their next discussion of um…boys. And they were loud!! SUPER loud! They kept me company though…I was eavesdropping, yea…of course!
And now it’s raining. Pouring actually, and I’m bored. I can’t leave the back of my car open anymore because the water is beginning to sneak into the back of the car and is trying desperately to get my pillow all wet. So. Cold, wet, bored=go hoop on the beach! You can’t get any wetter and hoopin’ will warm you up! YAY! And it was awesome!!!! Soaked right through! Water streaming from my hair into my eyes. (heart)
And now? Well now I need to go to sleep…on ma’ wet pillow, surrounded by my sopping wet clothes. This calls for a bit of whiskey, ‘cause I don’t have a fire and I’m cold now. Cuddlebug with two amazing bears (Boursin & Ted E.). Sleep soundly.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
06/28/11
UP! I think I may have missed the Sea Lion Caves
12:30 pm:
I had to stop! I have to pee SOOOOO bad and there’s a visitor center! Perfect! Outta the car, start opening the door, then notice the sign on the door: “No Public Restroom”. WHA??!! Oh good lord!!! It’s an emergency though! So I peak in and ask the woman where the nearest one is, she lets me know its 1 block down. Ok. Good. I don’t know where I am (other than Oregon
I find a Thai restaurant and get some Massaman Curry with tofu…mmmmmmm! Oh, but this isn’t what I’m used to. (sigh) Oh! And now I’m sick again. That’s it. I’m sticking with the garbanzo beans and spinach with a side of bread from now on. It’s over.
1:30 pm:
8:00 pm:
Back at the campsite (I’ve been here a while now) and I’ve been visited by an Oregon Blue Jay thing, crows and a chipmunk thing that desperately wanted my towel. Bad. He kept coming back and sniffin’ at it then trying to steal it, then noticing me and flittin’ away. Stop with my towel, dude!!! I don’t want to put it in my car, but I guess I’m going to have to huh? Jerk.
Now we hula hoop. For 2 hours. And get nice a bruised from it…or maybe that’s from sleeping in my car? Hmmmmmmmmm.
Sleep now. Sweet dreams.
06/27/11
Woke up after amazingly bad dreams. I don’t remember what they were, but they were awful. I am human sometimes. When you wake up from such terrors, you then wake up again and realize you’ve been staring at the ceiling for an hour…and yo’ eyes are all done dried out and hurt, but there are still tears running down the sides of your face.
So what does this lady do after nightmares? Well, basically she does what she does when she finds herself in a stupid situation—do it UP! UP! UP! So today? Shorts, rainbow socks, boots, Forks Washington (those are the sparkly vampires) deconstructed t-shirt, aqua braid clip for ma’ hair, and glitter eyeliner fo’ ma’ eyes! OK! GO!
And then what?
10:00 am:
Well, you check out of the hotel and then go hula hoop on the beach which is right next door for and hour and a half while staring at the ocean! YAY! All better…AFTER you fling down your hoop, rip off your boots and socks and literally RUN into the ocean while smiling like a frackin’ lunatic. Yes. This is the Amber you know and love. You can’t deny it, so don’t even try…oh…unless you didn’t know this about her and now you’re a wee bit frightened? Hmmmmm…that’d be weird. If your frightened, then let me know and I’ll find you and crush hug you. You won’t be frightened any more. Promise.
11:15 am
All done at the beach and I’m sauntering back to my car. Yes! I also saunter sometimes, which does feel strange and slow since typically I walk like I’m on the boot camp cat walk! As I approach my car I notice that there is a cop talking with a local guy right beside my car. This guy was informing the cop of the shenanigans that occurred last night when “Billy” decided to take his boat out, but he was drunk and when he came back into the harbor he smashed his boat against a couple other boats and didn’t even realize. Well, the cop says he should come down and talk with Billy about the situation and the guy agrees. Said guy gets in his car (they are going to go down there now) and heads that way. The cop watches him go then turns to me—imma trying to get most of the sand off of my feet and put my boots back on—and asks me how long I’ve been doing what I just did. OH! Wha? You were watching? DOH! Um, not too long. I’m not very good. He informs me that it looks really difficult and complicated and that I seemed really good at it. Why that ye’ officer! That’s most appreciated! Can you not step so close to my car now, ‘cause I’m worried I didn’t get all the wine cleaned up so well and you’re gonna get a whiff of it and then notice that my temporary plates expire TOMORROW! AH! Then what? Then I’m dragged off ta’ jail because he thinks I’m some drunk, high, hippie vagabond that is driving a stolen vehicle…and then? End of Leeloo and the Amazon.
Instead, he tells me to have a great day and leaves.
Phew!
I bring out my maps and boots and coffee and sit on the bench looking out over the beach to figure out what the heck I’m doing.
11:30 am:
Yep. 15 minutes later said cop drives up and pulls in right next to me where I was sittin’. Well, that didn’t take long now did it? He asks me all sorts of questions and tells me that he’s so very jealous of what I’m doing. Then he looks out his windshield and gets this far off dreamy look and I just want to go up to him and hug him and let him know that he CAN do what I’m doing, that he’s NOT stuck, that it’s OK!! Oh gosh. It was so hard to control and I’m gonna assume that running up to a cop sitting in an SUV, throwing open the door, dragging him out, and giving him a HUGE hug is not ok to do? It’s not right? ‘Cause if it is, Imma gonna drive back there right now and do it! His name is Devon and if you’re ever in Crescent City
12:30 pm:
1:00 pm:
I have a few days before I need to be in Portland Oregon Harris Beach State Park
6:00 pm:
RAIN! I haven’t seen or felt rain in almost a month and that there? That is an amazing feeling to have when the first whiff of rain hits your face and you know it’s going to be good because everything around you, including the ground all of a sudden BURST with its pure essence. It’s like all of a sudden the earth so very much wants to attract the sky so it sends off its pheromones and us humans? Well, we’re caught in the middle of this dance.
That night while walking through the rain to use the restroom I also saw a wee lil’ bunny! He decided that the pathway was his though and as a human I should probably find another way around…I actually got scared because he just started staring at me…yes. Scared. I’ve seen Monty Python…I know what cute lil’ innocent looking bunnies can do! I ain’t no fool!
At some point I slept.
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